It's been a mixed bag the past couple of days.  I've made a lot of progress with my dissertation.  This is the good news.  The bad news is I've only scratched the surface.  The bad news is that reading research and writing every day is tedious.  And not fun.  Thankfully, I have some new resources on board, and there is lots to be done this weekend.  I'll check in with you on Monday or so...  I hope.

I also find, much to my chagrin, that writing one part of the day using scholarly mechanics and another with creativity and freedom is a difficult balancing act...

Not sure how that one is going to play out yet.

Ciao.

Disclaimer:  Newcomers may want to start at the start  (Sept 2012)...  I'm not sure anyone new is checking this out, but you never know...

So, I haven't written in a while.  Once again, I am being less than honest if I trumpet my triumphant productivity over the past two weeks or so.  I did accomplish two significant things: Organized the house, and hosted a party.  (The two are directly inter-related.)  I intentionally scheduled the party when I did because I knew it was the only way I was going unpack, organize, put up pictures, etc. - you know, move in!  I am the king of living out of boxes for months...  Hence, the party.  I do know myself pretty well, in all candor.  These are the things that I know for sure:

1.  I am the most professional of crastinators...  I can find emergencies, contingencies, diversions, pseudo-dramas, trickery, self-delusion, excuses, and down-right fabrications - okay, lies! - to avoid doing what I KNOW is most important...

2.  See number 1.  Okay, it's time in my life to put up or shut up; to be a responsible adult.  I can do this.  Think of all those years of responsible adulthood I've had under my belt previously.  I can do that shit.

3.  I still abhor drama and - no, let's be honest here - there is always drama, it's how you respond to others' drama that matters...  The truth is I've always hated confrontation, and I've got some in my life right now.  I don't deal well with it, but the key is to address it, reflect, keep your emotions out of things as much as possible, and employ reason and logic.  That is the best way to proceed.  There is no sense getting your blood pressure up, after all.

4.  Regarding my blood pressure, "Thank you, Mari" is all I can say about that.  I have learned that my blood pressure is not going to regulate itself without diet, exercise, and medication...  Just do it.  I will be 72 when Stella is 18.  I want to make sure I can still do the fun stuff with her at 72.  Hiking, camping, harley-riding, golf, telling stories, etc.

5.  Exercise more.  Write more.  Eat better.

This is my new mantra:  Exercise more.  Write more.  Eat better.  Exercise more.  Write more.  Eat better.

So, good-bye for now.  If I know myself well - which I do - if I am being productive with writing and research, I will be blogging like a fiend, bragging about it.  If you don't hear back from me within the week, then so long stranger, it's been nice (Supertramp).  That will mean that I've given up and procrastinated myself into failure yet again.

I might as well say it, poker fans, "I'm all in."  The little house in the desert is where I make my final stand.  I've said for years that "When all is said and done, there's a lot more said, than done!

Of course, I have also maintained for years that I'm a little different than the average bear...  So, do it.

All I'm trying to say is "I know myself.  I know what it takes to get things done.  I have to use every mnemonic device at my disposal.  My mantra: Exercise, Write, Eat Better is one.  I've posted notes on the walls inside the little house in the desert, saying, "BE AN ADULT"  There is a sign directly above and to the right of this very desk (AKA procrastination station), and one in the living room that you can see clearly when you walk down the hall to the john.  There is also one on the refrigerator.  Their placement was very specific, both in terms of eye-line and wind.  Yes, wind.  The signs had to be posted in the house, but not in the wind zone.  The wind zone is through the bathroom, down the hallway, exiting the east wall through a leeward window.  The wind in the high desert is a regular visitor; strength and duration the random variables.  I am learning to value the still days.  Well, I NEED to learn to value the still days (Exercise)...

So, it's time to wrap this up because, because now I'm waxing esoteric about the wind...  Whoa.

Final thoughts:  Time for honesty, hard work, persistence, realistic scheduling and expectations, but most of all, time to BE AN ADULT.

I hope that I'm back with you sooner rather than later.  In any case, I will tell you in all honesty how things are going.  Take care.