Blogging can be a tricky proposition. This is especially true when you are in a committed, loving relationship. When single, you can write, ponder, pontificate, opine, share, and express thoughts and opinions which reflect solely on the author.
Blogging while in a relationship is an entirely different matter. I can say that I have the good fortune to now be in one of those committed, loving relationships. And I AM ECSTATIC to say so.
The trick, then, as I explained to Charley, is to include her (how could I not - she is a huge part of my life) while being respectful of privacy, taste, tact, etc. Not to mention that I don't want to bore my readers by going on and on about Charley. I mean, she's interesting and all, but so is tofu. Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not comparing the two; I'm just saying that sometimes Charley might be on my mind, and therefore I'll write about her, but sometime it might just be tofu.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't expect this blog to turn into a running love letter or a daily fawning over my girlfriend. When I started writing these thoughts and observations in September of 2012, I didn't have a girlfriend. Well, I have one now. That's the difference.
While I'm on the topic, I talked to someone recently about the blog, and they inferred that the blog had been somewhat lacking for awhile and they theorized I was telling my girlfriend all the things that I would normally tell you all here. Well, challenge accepted!
So, I just got a phone call from the blog police. They said that since I compared my girlfriend to tofu (but I really didn't!), that tofu has to get equal time in this post. Hey, the law is the law...
I always hated tofu. Whenever I'd get it in a salad or see it floating around in miso soup, it always looked so bland. Yuck. I didn't like the taste, the consistency, the sliminess - heck, even the name 'tofu' is gross. Then, my dear friends Tina and Bree (her daughter and my 'honorary' daughter) taught me how to purchase, prepare, and cook tofu. Let me tell you what I learned: 1. Buy firm (extra firm?) tofu. 2. Dice it into small cubes. 3. Stir fry in wok on high heat, adding appropriate spices, etc.
I don't hate tofu anymore :) And I don't hate my girlfriend, either. I suppose now I just compared Charley and tofu. And that means it's really time to go to sleep.
Feeling good, everyone. Feeling good...
Monday, June 23, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
So, let me paint a picture for you (SPOILER ALERT: For those of you who don't want to read a detailed description of me sitting on a donut in my underwear, you may want to skip the introductories and go to directly to paragraph two. Wait! Better make that paragraph three, I'm sure the trip will be circuitous, if not fun... See, now, I'm trying to have fun, and already this is not going well. My computer has the temerity to admonish me with 'Teachers' Red ink. Word (thank you very much) has underlined two words and the red lines are just bugging the heck out of me. I know, Word. I know. Listen, I made up 'introductories', so sue me. And everybody writes 'donuts' not doughnuts, I mean, sheesh. Oh, crap, now three words underlined.
Sigh. Okay. Fresh start so my computer and I can get our feces in one container, as one of my employees once suggested I do... Good suggestion, actually. Okay. Focus. Let's go...
So, this is my first cancer-free blog post (early pathology reports are excellent, but I have one last PSA test to pass on July 10, then I can be pronounced officially 'prostate cancer free.' I'll gladly accept that new handle... I'm sitting in the living room of the most awesome place I've ever lived. I'm listening to music, sitting on the aforementioned donut, wearing nothing but my underwear (plus my 'pad' - more on that later...) and my watch. [Insert official segue music here: Stella loves my watch. She always has. She pays less attention to it now, because there is a whole 'nother world out there for two year-olds. She was at a party at my house recently, and she wandered into the bedroom and rummaged through the items in there, and found the watch. Always the watch. Funny thing about the watch. It was purchased for me by my parents for my 50th birthday. It bears the logo of my high school mascot, and it's my everyday watch. Okay, all my other watches need batteries, so technically, this is my only watch. The thing is, it was gifted to me with love by Stella's great-grandparents, and, in time, that love and all mine will accompany the watch to Stella... Okay, while we are talking about Stella, I just have to say, MY PEANUT, I LUFF HER. April, you are the best!!!! Love and strength to you, my kick-ass daughter!]
So, let's get this party started. I have so much to tell you. It is going to take me a considerable amount of time. Hey, hey, stop complaining! Reeses peanut butter cups were not built in a day! Wait, that's not the saying, is it? Freakin munchies. Oh, well.
This will be the first blog entry dealing with the surgical prep and process, as well as the recovery to date. Make no mistake: I'm three weeks out post-surgery, I know I have a lot of healing to do yet, and I'm (mostly) following doctor's orders and taking it easy. I will talk about the unfortunate consequences of being 'mostly' compliant, instead of, oh, I don't know, compliant?
(I wish that my girlfriend, Charley, was co-writing this with me tonight, because during large parts of this process, I was asleep, under anesthesia, otherwise medicated, or just not attentive enough to truly appreciate the chaos that was my surgery and recovery. For example, my 11th hour melt-down just moments before they wheeled me into surgery, and my insistence that "I was not going to have this operation right now'" and Charley saying, "Fine, let's go home." Yeah, oh, yeah. Good stuff for a writer, but not for a patient?... Thanks, Charley, for ALWAYS calling bullshit on me when it was called for.)
Well, folks, if I can't find the sweet spot to sit in on this donut soon, this entry may be over before it starts. Yes, I know, I already started, including spelling donut 'wrong' about 7 times now! But seriously, this is but mere foreplay. Oooh, did I just write that? I kind of like that...
I moved to the bed and I'm now in the supine position. My Santa Monica High School 2011 yearbook is crushing my balls so that I can use it (my book, not my balls) for a place to rest the laptop.
Okay, this sucks too. To the desk. Let's see what happens. Preparation H, too. We can do this!
Wait. Maybe the bed will work. Let's give it a minute. Okay, no. That was 4.6 seconds. A minute ain't gonna happen - unless of course, I continue to typ
Moved to the desk, with the donut on the desk chair. Not sold on it. Crap.
Well, now you know why I haven't posted since before surgery.
Before I go, let me just leave this caution behind for anyone having surgery: Make sure you eat properly and don't overdo it within the first few weeks of surgery. I did, and my body was like, "Dude, we gotta slow this guy down!" "Yeah, I know... What we got?" "Cold?" "Nah." "Flu?" "Pfft!" "I got it! Hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are terrible, and this poor bastard doesn't even know how to spell hemrroids." "Frank, you're an evil genius. Hemorrhoids. Eeek."
Yup, so the biggest setback in my recovery is a nice bout of anal itching and soreness. My nurse practitioner put me immediately on bed rest. This sucked, since I was walking about two miles a day at that point, but... My body, as you can tell from that scintillating dialog in the preceding paragraph. was trying to tell me something.
So, here I am. Back in bed, physically feeling pretty damn good, mentally off the charts happy, and spiritually in a good place, too. This process has reinforced my beliefs in karma and positive energy. Spending time with like-minded people has been a blessing, too, along with the thoughts prayers, and energy from my friends and family. THANK YOU, ALL. (Special shout-out to Paul, Kevin, DJ, Zach, and Liz.) My son, Kenny, coming in from NY was awesome, and spending time with my peanut is always a gas. Then there's Charley. Just thank you.
I feel my old energy returning since my hormone depletion therapy shot has now worn off, and my body is once again producing testosterone. The hormone treatment was definitely the worst part of the process to date - perhaps even worse than the anal thing (Sorry, I'm tired of misspelling h-e-m you know...)
So, in conclusion, I'm tired, uncomfortable, and heading to bed.
I'll get back to you soon with more.
Tonight's affirmation is fresh from my dear friend, Victoria:
"Every day, and in every way, I am getting better and better!"
I am.
Sigh. Okay. Fresh start so my computer and I can get our feces in one container, as one of my employees once suggested I do... Good suggestion, actually. Okay. Focus. Let's go...
So, this is my first cancer-free blog post (early pathology reports are excellent, but I have one last PSA test to pass on July 10, then I can be pronounced officially 'prostate cancer free.' I'll gladly accept that new handle... I'm sitting in the living room of the most awesome place I've ever lived. I'm listening to music, sitting on the aforementioned donut, wearing nothing but my underwear (plus my 'pad' - more on that later...) and my watch. [Insert official segue music here: Stella loves my watch. She always has. She pays less attention to it now, because there is a whole 'nother world out there for two year-olds. She was at a party at my house recently, and she wandered into the bedroom and rummaged through the items in there, and found the watch. Always the watch. Funny thing about the watch. It was purchased for me by my parents for my 50th birthday. It bears the logo of my high school mascot, and it's my everyday watch. Okay, all my other watches need batteries, so technically, this is my only watch. The thing is, it was gifted to me with love by Stella's great-grandparents, and, in time, that love and all mine will accompany the watch to Stella... Okay, while we are talking about Stella, I just have to say, MY PEANUT, I LUFF HER. April, you are the best!!!! Love and strength to you, my kick-ass daughter!]
So, let's get this party started. I have so much to tell you. It is going to take me a considerable amount of time. Hey, hey, stop complaining! Reeses peanut butter cups were not built in a day! Wait, that's not the saying, is it? Freakin munchies. Oh, well.
This will be the first blog entry dealing with the surgical prep and process, as well as the recovery to date. Make no mistake: I'm three weeks out post-surgery, I know I have a lot of healing to do yet, and I'm (mostly) following doctor's orders and taking it easy. I will talk about the unfortunate consequences of being 'mostly' compliant, instead of, oh, I don't know, compliant?
(I wish that my girlfriend, Charley, was co-writing this with me tonight, because during large parts of this process, I was asleep, under anesthesia, otherwise medicated, or just not attentive enough to truly appreciate the chaos that was my surgery and recovery. For example, my 11th hour melt-down just moments before they wheeled me into surgery, and my insistence that "I was not going to have this operation right now'" and Charley saying, "Fine, let's go home." Yeah, oh, yeah. Good stuff for a writer, but not for a patient?... Thanks, Charley, for ALWAYS calling bullshit on me when it was called for.)
Well, folks, if I can't find the sweet spot to sit in on this donut soon, this entry may be over before it starts. Yes, I know, I already started, including spelling donut 'wrong' about 7 times now! But seriously, this is but mere foreplay. Oooh, did I just write that? I kind of like that...
I moved to the bed and I'm now in the supine position. My Santa Monica High School 2011 yearbook is crushing my balls so that I can use it (my book, not my balls) for a place to rest the laptop.
Okay, this sucks too. To the desk. Let's see what happens. Preparation H, too. We can do this!
Wait. Maybe the bed will work. Let's give it a minute. Okay, no. That was 4.6 seconds. A minute ain't gonna happen - unless of course, I continue to typ
Moved to the desk, with the donut on the desk chair. Not sold on it. Crap.
Well, now you know why I haven't posted since before surgery.
Before I go, let me just leave this caution behind for anyone having surgery: Make sure you eat properly and don't overdo it within the first few weeks of surgery. I did, and my body was like, "Dude, we gotta slow this guy down!" "Yeah, I know... What we got?" "Cold?" "Nah." "Flu?" "Pfft!" "I got it! Hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are terrible, and this poor bastard doesn't even know how to spell hemrroids." "Frank, you're an evil genius. Hemorrhoids. Eeek."
Yup, so the biggest setback in my recovery is a nice bout of anal itching and soreness. My nurse practitioner put me immediately on bed rest. This sucked, since I was walking about two miles a day at that point, but... My body, as you can tell from that scintillating dialog in the preceding paragraph. was trying to tell me something.
So, here I am. Back in bed, physically feeling pretty damn good, mentally off the charts happy, and spiritually in a good place, too. This process has reinforced my beliefs in karma and positive energy. Spending time with like-minded people has been a blessing, too, along with the thoughts prayers, and energy from my friends and family. THANK YOU, ALL. (Special shout-out to Paul, Kevin, DJ, Zach, and Liz.) My son, Kenny, coming in from NY was awesome, and spending time with my peanut is always a gas. Then there's Charley. Just thank you.
I feel my old energy returning since my hormone depletion therapy shot has now worn off, and my body is once again producing testosterone. The hormone treatment was definitely the worst part of the process to date - perhaps even worse than the anal thing (Sorry, I'm tired of misspelling h-e-m you know...)
So, in conclusion, I'm tired, uncomfortable, and heading to bed.
I'll get back to you soon with more.
Tonight's affirmation is fresh from my dear friend, Victoria:
"Every day, and in every way, I am getting better and better!"
I am.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Hello, all. Very happy to say that I survived surgery and I'm back home to continue my recovery. It's certainly not been a linear path to recovery by any stretch of the imagination.
For now, however, it is late. Any writing I begin at this point will be either: 1. Very brief, as I quite tired. or 2. Rambling, as I have so much to say. Knowing this, I am now going to retire for the evening and catch up with you later.
Good night.
For now, however, it is late. Any writing I begin at this point will be either: 1. Very brief, as I quite tired. or 2. Rambling, as I have so much to say. Knowing this, I am now going to retire for the evening and catch up with you later.
Good night.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
One last word before I retire for the evening. I wanted to say how proud I am of my son, Kenny, who turned 36 while riding a rented Harley in the Southern California mountains. I love you, son.
Now, my son is a man of many, many talents. Those of you who enjoy this blog and my aimless ramblings would be well served to do the following:
Point your browser to Poetry.com then search for my son's work. His name is Kenneth P. Petronis II and he is one of the finest men on this planet. He's in the top two, along with his grandfather, the original Kenneth P. Petronis.
He also happens to be a gifted and passionate poet. If my writing is aimless, his takes dead aim.
I'm very proud of you, son. I love and respect you deeply.
Now, my son is a man of many, many talents. Those of you who enjoy this blog and my aimless ramblings would be well served to do the following:
Point your browser to Poetry.com then search for my son's work. His name is Kenneth P. Petronis II and he is one of the finest men on this planet. He's in the top two, along with his grandfather, the original Kenneth P. Petronis.
He also happens to be a gifted and passionate poet. If my writing is aimless, his takes dead aim.
I'm very proud of you, son. I love and respect you deeply.
Looks like this will be my last chance to post before surgery next Tuesday. It has seemed so far off for so long, I have been able to shove it to the back of my cranium - up until tonight, that is...
Yes, I'm scared. The biggest disappointment in that statement? It means I'm normal. I've bragged my entire life of my uniqueness. Nobody has done nothin' quite like I done somethin' - or something like that...
When words fail me (stop rolling your eyes out there!), I simply quote some of my favorite philosophers, including Popeye, who so famously said, "I yam what I yam." I couldn't have said it better myself. The irony in my operation is that I've finally learned to really love the man I am, instead of obsessing over what I should have or could have or... Whatever. Whatever I could have been, I amso proud of the man I have become. happy being me.
Thank you, everyone, for the good wishes, prayers, positive thoughts, affirmations, energy, and time. I will rely on that positivity in my recovery.
Be well, one and all.
Carpe Diem
PS - Special thanks to all that hung out last weekend at My Little House in the Desert, especially April, Grant, Stella, Kenny, and Charley. Charley, thank you for everything. You are just the right kind of crazy.
Yes, I'm scared. The biggest disappointment in that statement? It means I'm normal. I've bragged my entire life of my uniqueness. Nobody has done nothin' quite like I done somethin' - or something like that...
When words fail me (stop rolling your eyes out there!), I simply quote some of my favorite philosophers, including Popeye, who so famously said, "I yam what I yam." I couldn't have said it better myself. The irony in my operation is that I've finally learned to really love the man I am, instead of obsessing over what I should have or could have or... Whatever. Whatever I could have been, I am
Thank you, everyone, for the good wishes, prayers, positive thoughts, affirmations, energy, and time. I will rely on that positivity in my recovery.
Be well, one and all.
Carpe Diem
PS - Special thanks to all that hung out last weekend at My Little House in the Desert, especially April, Grant, Stella, Kenny, and Charley. Charley, thank you for everything. You are just the right kind of crazy.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
I've had people tell me - and I'd say fairly frequently - that I think too much. I've heard it again recently, and I suppose I'm trying to process that. The challenge for me is how do I write a 'compelling' blog unless I occasionally wallow in my thoughts?
The message I hear is "Live your life. Don't ruminate on every decision, rue missed opportunities, or over-analyze every relationship..."
And that's what I've been trying to do. Live. The end of the school year is hard upon me, and the pressure is starting to affect me. Yesterday, in fact, I produced a truculent display worthy of a two-year old during our regular morning meeting at work. Thankfully, an engaging and productive Statistics class - followed by a low-key visit with Charlie - returned the bounce in my step. In fact, when I walked into work this morning, I heard, "That's the smile we missed yesterday!" and my co-workers joked with me mid-morning that they should have slipped me a Snickers bar and reminded me that I wasn't 'being myself.' Touche.
At any rate, I felt stressed, yet productive today.
And now? Now is time for me to do hit the hay. In the morning, I'll be juicing.
And hopefully smiling.
PS - The cause of my rash was the daily dose of Cialis my urologist had prescribed. We are going to try other forms of ED treatment. We shall see. Just goes to show you that no one course of treatment is best for all.
The surgery is in less than 3 weeks now. I've started prepping in earnest and I'm revisiting my support network of friends who have already been through the experience. The questions now are focused on surgery prep and recovery. Stay tuned...
Addendum: The hot and cold flashes are real. That's all the attention I want to give them... This, too, shall pass.
The message I hear is "Live your life. Don't ruminate on every decision, rue missed opportunities, or over-analyze every relationship..."
And that's what I've been trying to do. Live. The end of the school year is hard upon me, and the pressure is starting to affect me. Yesterday, in fact, I produced a truculent display worthy of a two-year old during our regular morning meeting at work. Thankfully, an engaging and productive Statistics class - followed by a low-key visit with Charlie - returned the bounce in my step. In fact, when I walked into work this morning, I heard, "That's the smile we missed yesterday!" and my co-workers joked with me mid-morning that they should have slipped me a Snickers bar and reminded me that I wasn't 'being myself.' Touche.
At any rate, I felt stressed, yet productive today.
And now? Now is time for me to do hit the hay. In the morning, I'll be juicing.
And hopefully smiling.
PS - The cause of my rash was the daily dose of Cialis my urologist had prescribed. We are going to try other forms of ED treatment. We shall see. Just goes to show you that no one course of treatment is best for all.
The surgery is in less than 3 weeks now. I've started prepping in earnest and I'm revisiting my support network of friends who have already been through the experience. The questions now are focused on surgery prep and recovery. Stay tuned...
Addendum: The hot and cold flashes are real. That's all the attention I want to give them... This, too, shall pass.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
A little something different today; a quick blog post from work. Don't worry, it's before start time, so I'm on my own time :)
An update regarding my 'experiment' with Cialis. As my testosterone levels are approaching zero, my hot flashes (and cold flashes) are becoming more extreme and more frequent. To make matters worse, I've broken out in a horrific rash from the Cialis. I called my doctor, and I'm now off the medication. My sex drive, sadly, matches my low testosterone levels, but I've got a fabulous, supportive partner who worries not about the small stuff (perhaps I shouldn't use terms like 'small stuff' when I'm talking about the penis?).
So, I'm taking lots of Benedryl and itching like a banshee, especially when I'm wearing clothes (which is, sadly, most of the time...). The combination of hot flashes, itching, and drowsiness from the allergy meds have created quite the exacerbating combination. No matter. There are a lot of people out there far worse off than I am. My heart goes out to each of them...
As for me? Well, the Benedryl is helping the itching, I'm wearing a polo shirt today in lieu of a shirt and tie, so the extra air flow really helps. Now, it's time to get ready for my students, so I will have to bid you farewell.
I hope each of you has the best day possible.
I'll close with some words from one of my college students. At the conclusion of each course, students fill out a formal survey on their experience. Here is what one of my students said:
"Mr. P made learning about statistics easier than expected by adding humor, real life examples, and teaching it at a level even first graders would understand. He took the time to explain, answer all questions, and provide us with tools and great feedback."
An update regarding my 'experiment' with Cialis. As my testosterone levels are approaching zero, my hot flashes (and cold flashes) are becoming more extreme and more frequent. To make matters worse, I've broken out in a horrific rash from the Cialis. I called my doctor, and I'm now off the medication. My sex drive, sadly, matches my low testosterone levels, but I've got a fabulous, supportive partner who worries not about the small stuff (perhaps I shouldn't use terms like 'small stuff' when I'm talking about the penis?).
So, I'm taking lots of Benedryl and itching like a banshee, especially when I'm wearing clothes (which is, sadly, most of the time...). The combination of hot flashes, itching, and drowsiness from the allergy meds have created quite the exacerbating combination. No matter. There are a lot of people out there far worse off than I am. My heart goes out to each of them...
As for me? Well, the Benedryl is helping the itching, I'm wearing a polo shirt today in lieu of a shirt and tie, so the extra air flow really helps. Now, it's time to get ready for my students, so I will have to bid you farewell.
I hope each of you has the best day possible.
I'll close with some words from one of my college students. At the conclusion of each course, students fill out a formal survey on their experience. Here is what one of my students said:
"Mr. P made learning about statistics easier than expected by adding humor, real life examples, and teaching it at a level even first graders would understand. He took the time to explain, answer all questions, and provide us with tools and great feedback."
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Hi, everybody. I haven't abandoned you, I've just underestimated the effects of my hormone therapy - notably that zero testosterone also feels like zero energy. You add that to a someone who is accustomed to keeping an 'up-tempo' pace, and you've got a recipe for disappointment.
Sooo... after flying high for a week or so, riding the bike with Charlie, visiting April, Stella, and the newly-employed Grant, then driving 230 miles to teach a night class (Oooh, sorry. I may have neglected to tell you I'm teaching my last UOP class for the foreseeable future. I promise. For real. I have to pay off my IRS bill and I'll be good to go...), I pretty much hit the wall yesterday. In the depths of my pity-party, I even started thinking of all the reasons I couldn't be in a relationship with Charlie. Thankfully, she's smarter than me, and she set me straight on my fallacious logic.
Thank you, Charlie.
Back to the depleted testosterone... There are two very unfortunate side effects associated with Androgen Depletion Therapy: One is a lack of sexual vigor, which can (and is, in my case) treated to a certain extent with Cialis or other ED treatments. The other may be far worse... The hot/cold mood swings produced within my internal thermostat are making me a sweater-peeling, sleeve-rolling, tie-loosening, face-fanning sideshow at work. Yesterday, my co-workers were guessing the over/under on the number of times that I took my sweater off... Yes, I love my co-workers.
So, I'm off to bed with a more hopeful outlook and a firmer resolve to get back on track for surgery prep. I've got to get some more exercise and JUICE MORE.
In the meantime, sleep helps all.
Good night from me. Now, from Gustavo... Gustavo was possessed of perhaps the best head of hair I have ever seen...
"Mr. P!! :)
You are the definitely the best teacher I've EVER HAD!! You're so cool and I love how you truly be yourself to everyone you know. Because of you, I be my true self even more. I know you have been through some difficult times... The best advice I can give you that has helped my life is three words, NEVER GIVE IN. Never give in to the bullshit and criticism of society, always be yourself. Mr. P, thank you for making me feel welcomed and wanted in your class the whole school year... Mr. P, I will truly miss having your class. Have the best life you can have, and be the happiest you can possibly be!!"
Why is it that every time I need a quote to lift me up, I find just the right one when I'm researching my blog affirmations...
Karma is cool.
Sooo... after flying high for a week or so, riding the bike with Charlie, visiting April, Stella, and the newly-employed Grant, then driving 230 miles to teach a night class (Oooh, sorry. I may have neglected to tell you I'm teaching my last UOP class for the foreseeable future. I promise. For real. I have to pay off my IRS bill and I'll be good to go...), I pretty much hit the wall yesterday. In the depths of my pity-party, I even started thinking of all the reasons I couldn't be in a relationship with Charlie. Thankfully, she's smarter than me, and she set me straight on my fallacious logic.
Thank you, Charlie.
Back to the depleted testosterone... There are two very unfortunate side effects associated with Androgen Depletion Therapy: One is a lack of sexual vigor, which can (and is, in my case) treated to a certain extent with Cialis or other ED treatments. The other may be far worse... The hot/cold mood swings produced within my internal thermostat are making me a sweater-peeling, sleeve-rolling, tie-loosening, face-fanning sideshow at work. Yesterday, my co-workers were guessing the over/under on the number of times that I took my sweater off... Yes, I love my co-workers.
So, I'm off to bed with a more hopeful outlook and a firmer resolve to get back on track for surgery prep. I've got to get some more exercise and JUICE MORE.
In the meantime, sleep helps all.
Good night from me. Now, from Gustavo... Gustavo was possessed of perhaps the best head of hair I have ever seen...
"Mr. P!! :)
You are the definitely the best teacher I've EVER HAD!! You're so cool and I love how you truly be yourself to everyone you know. Because of you, I be my true self even more. I know you have been through some difficult times... The best advice I can give you that has helped my life is three words, NEVER GIVE IN. Never give in to the bullshit and criticism of society, always be yourself. Mr. P, thank you for making me feel welcomed and wanted in your class the whole school year... Mr. P, I will truly miss having your class. Have the best life you can have, and be the happiest you can possibly be!!"
Why is it that every time I need a quote to lift me up, I find just the right one when I'm researching my blog affirmations...
Karma is cool.
Monday, April 14, 2014
PS - (I've only got a few minutes before the battery dies)
Okay, down to business. Here's the Post-Script:
I am glad that my freedom includes freedom from obsessing over page views... Also, I'm not sure how frequently I will be blogging, but I will make sure to check in with the biggies (doctors appointments, treatments, epic Harley rides, or just silly observations.)
Thank you for checking in and for all the love...
Be well.
Okay, down to business. Here's the Post-Script:
I am glad that my freedom includes freedom from obsessing over page views... Also, I'm not sure how frequently I will be blogging, but I will make sure to check in with the biggies (doctors appointments, treatments, epic Harley rides, or just silly observations.)
Thank you for checking in and for all the love...
Be well.
Thursday, March 20
A good day, indeed. After some healthy eating and equally restorative conversation with Tina, I slept well and woke up early. In retrospect, I farted around too long at Tina's that AM, putting me in the teeth of rush hour traffic. Ouch. Rookie mistake, one that I made again only hours later. Hmmm. This sounds intriguing.
Sorry, I was playing the movie back in my head...
I got to Santa Monica High School just after the first period bell. The security guards think I still work there. The ladies in the office thought I was there to sub. It is always a pleasure to visit :) I got a hug from the world's greatest hugger, visited with a retired and rehired legend, saw the institution himself, found out that 40% of my successor's students passed the AP exam (vs. 50% for my class), visited with the campus conscience, the dancing queen (I mean that in the most affectionate way possible), the coach, the librarian, the boss, my mentor, and many others... So uplifting to see such good people.
Next stop - Coffee, Bean, and Teal Leaf at the corner of Michigan and Lincoln. Anyone familiar with Samohi knows that the road to Samo leads through CBTL. I, for one, visited with Leily and her band of merrymen and merrywomen practically daily during my two years at Samo. I got to know many of the baristas and was happy to see Oscar there when I poked my head inside. I did not, however, get to see Leily. She had followed her lifelong dream and moved to Paris. The one in France. Wow. Way to go, girl! And a special thank you to Oscar for hooking me up with your e-mail.
A quick trip down the 405 to Redondo Beach and the next thing you know I'm sitting in the kitchen of the man himself - Mr. Jerry Heidler. (Sorry, Terry, I had to...) After some excellent refreshments, I'm northbound on Sepulveda to Venice Beach, specifically the bread pudding shop near Muscle Beach. Damn, that was some good bread pudding, but the company was even better. It was very relaxing hanging out with Julian and Isa, but the drive back to Culver City during rush hour was less than swift.
Thankfully, Tina and I were able to relax and unwind in her Jacuzzi and all was right with the world...
Friday, March 21.
I'm homeward bound, and as much as I like to go, do, eat, drink, visit, hug, laugh, remember, see, be... I love going home even more...
First, a visit with the super smart and awesome Emily B., in town for a quick respite from UCSB. Then, a quick re-visit to Oakley (looooong story), and a hasty exit to nirvana. It was a good 4 day trip. I got to visit several friends (I'm going to attempt a count, hold on a minute - I counted 35. Seriously; 35.) Good for me. I am a lucky man.
The next week, I visited Santa Barbara, where I got to visit with some of the world's best people. Gioia and Mark, your hospitality is worthy of a royal visit, I always feel like family when I'm with you. Lisa, you are one of the strongest, sweetest, level-headed, hard-working, positive people that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Thank you for being my friend. Fight on, kid!
The rest of the week is a blur, so I don't know what else to tell you.
Fast-forward to the present (I think I write more lucidly when I focus on what's in front of me presently. Well, not right this instant, mind you. What's that? Oh, you insist? I see. Okay. But you asked for it...
I'm sitting on my one remaining decent camp chair, the previous most comfy one splitting the last time I tried to sit on it. Of course, when Charlie visits, she gets the good chair. [Note to self: Get new chair.] The night air is crisp - the coolest it's been in a while. I can hear the dogs barking from the neighbor's house, some quarter mile away, and from the east, coyotes. My small fire is begging for more wood (pardon me, while I indulge it). The wine is red, the smoke is Dominican, and moon is almost full (waxing gibbous, if memory serves...) The music is provided by Buffalo Springfield, and my the laptop sitting on - well, my lap - is a Toshiba. And me? Well, that's a long answer, let's move on to another paragraph, shall we?
The me that sits here with this wine, smoke, fire, music, laptop, etc. is not the same me that sat out here one year ago. What a journey it has been. I want to thank (oh, shit, this already sounds like an academy award speech, but I do want to be direct about this entry...) In fact, let me start over...
I really want to thank my family, especially my kids, Grant, and Stella. Your unconditional love is much appreciated - especially on those days I may have left you shaking your head...
To my friends, especially Tina, Mandy, Dawn, Gioia, Lisa, Victoria, Terry, Joel, Casey, and John. (Damn, I already know I am going to miss someone really important...) Thank you so much for inspiring me, moving me, challenging me, entertaining me, and mostly for being patient with me. Thank you.
My classmates from Stillwater and St. Paul's: It has been so much fun connecting with all of you. Whether it's my all-time 'besties' Billy, Harpo, or Joe or some my newly rediscovered (thanks to Facebook) friends from Sister Francine's class at St. Paul's-Assumption, 1972. I can't wait to see you all at our next reunion. The love and support from all of my friends have lifted me on so many occasions, I dare not count... Thank you.
To Kellan: Thank you for pushing me and challenging me. For asking me to ask the difficult questions. For being patient and really LISTENING. For inspiring. For motivating. For accepting. For the understanding. For the freedom; the freedom to be me. Thank you.
To Charlie: Thank you for the unrelenting positivity, the hope, the kisses, the smiles, the laughs, the bounce in my step, and the glow in my heart. You presence in my life is like the biggest cherry on top of the best sundae that one could ever ask for... And we haven't even gotten to all the nuts! THANK YOU to all those iconoclasts, anti-establishmentarians, anarchists, dreamers, poets, loners, lovers, and deep thinkers. Thank you for paving the path to individualism. I humbly walk in your footsteps. (There, now, we've addressed the nuts...)
So, Charlie, I know that you read and comment on this blog regularly. Just know that you are always in my thoughts. Thank you for all that is to come.
Good night, all. I am going to live in the moment and enjoy the fire, the wine, the smoke, and the lunar eclipse. I did mention that I was a very lucky guy, I hope.
Good night. I publish this post without editing. (Something I rarely do, but the fire is more important than and dangling participles...)
Carpe Diem. CARPE. DIEM.
A good day, indeed. After some healthy eating and equally restorative conversation with Tina, I slept well and woke up early. In retrospect, I farted around too long at Tina's that AM, putting me in the teeth of rush hour traffic. Ouch. Rookie mistake, one that I made again only hours later. Hmmm. This sounds intriguing.
Sorry, I was playing the movie back in my head...
I got to Santa Monica High School just after the first period bell. The security guards think I still work there. The ladies in the office thought I was there to sub. It is always a pleasure to visit :) I got a hug from the world's greatest hugger, visited with a retired and rehired legend, saw the institution himself, found out that 40% of my successor's students passed the AP exam (vs. 50% for my class), visited with the campus conscience, the dancing queen (I mean that in the most affectionate way possible), the coach, the librarian, the boss, my mentor, and many others... So uplifting to see such good people.
Next stop - Coffee, Bean, and Teal Leaf at the corner of Michigan and Lincoln. Anyone familiar with Samohi knows that the road to Samo leads through CBTL. I, for one, visited with Leily and her band of merrymen and merrywomen practically daily during my two years at Samo. I got to know many of the baristas and was happy to see Oscar there when I poked my head inside. I did not, however, get to see Leily. She had followed her lifelong dream and moved to Paris. The one in France. Wow. Way to go, girl! And a special thank you to Oscar for hooking me up with your e-mail.
A quick trip down the 405 to Redondo Beach and the next thing you know I'm sitting in the kitchen of the man himself - Mr. Jerry Heidler. (Sorry, Terry, I had to...) After some excellent refreshments, I'm northbound on Sepulveda to Venice Beach, specifically the bread pudding shop near Muscle Beach. Damn, that was some good bread pudding, but the company was even better. It was very relaxing hanging out with Julian and Isa, but the drive back to Culver City during rush hour was less than swift.
Thankfully, Tina and I were able to relax and unwind in her Jacuzzi and all was right with the world...
Friday, March 21.
I'm homeward bound, and as much as I like to go, do, eat, drink, visit, hug, laugh, remember, see, be... I love going home even more...
First, a visit with the super smart and awesome Emily B., in town for a quick respite from UCSB. Then, a quick re-visit to Oakley (looooong story), and a hasty exit to nirvana. It was a good 4 day trip. I got to visit several friends (I'm going to attempt a count, hold on a minute - I counted 35. Seriously; 35.) Good for me. I am a lucky man.
The next week, I visited Santa Barbara, where I got to visit with some of the world's best people. Gioia and Mark, your hospitality is worthy of a royal visit, I always feel like family when I'm with you. Lisa, you are one of the strongest, sweetest, level-headed, hard-working, positive people that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Thank you for being my friend. Fight on, kid!
The rest of the week is a blur, so I don't know what else to tell you.
Fast-forward to the present (I think I write more lucidly when I focus on what's in front of me presently. Well, not right this instant, mind you. What's that? Oh, you insist? I see. Okay. But you asked for it...
I'm sitting on my one remaining decent camp chair, the previous most comfy one splitting the last time I tried to sit on it. Of course, when Charlie visits, she gets the good chair. [Note to self: Get new chair.] The night air is crisp - the coolest it's been in a while. I can hear the dogs barking from the neighbor's house, some quarter mile away, and from the east, coyotes. My small fire is begging for more wood (pardon me, while I indulge it). The wine is red, the smoke is Dominican, and moon is almost full (waxing gibbous, if memory serves...) The music is provided by Buffalo Springfield, and my the laptop sitting on - well, my lap - is a Toshiba. And me? Well, that's a long answer, let's move on to another paragraph, shall we?
The me that sits here with this wine, smoke, fire, music, laptop, etc. is not the same me that sat out here one year ago. What a journey it has been. I want to thank (oh, shit, this already sounds like an academy award speech, but I do want to be direct about this entry...) In fact, let me start over...
I really want to thank my family, especially my kids, Grant, and Stella. Your unconditional love is much appreciated - especially on those days I may have left you shaking your head...
To my friends, especially Tina, Mandy, Dawn, Gioia, Lisa, Victoria, Terry, Joel, Casey, and John. (Damn, I already know I am going to miss someone really important...) Thank you so much for inspiring me, moving me, challenging me, entertaining me, and mostly for being patient with me. Thank you.
My classmates from Stillwater and St. Paul's: It has been so much fun connecting with all of you. Whether it's my all-time 'besties' Billy, Harpo, or Joe or some my newly rediscovered (thanks to Facebook) friends from Sister Francine's class at St. Paul's-Assumption, 1972. I can't wait to see you all at our next reunion. The love and support from all of my friends have lifted me on so many occasions, I dare not count... Thank you.
To Kellan: Thank you for pushing me and challenging me. For asking me to ask the difficult questions. For being patient and really LISTENING. For inspiring. For motivating. For accepting. For the understanding. For the freedom; the freedom to be me. Thank you.
To Charlie: Thank you for the unrelenting positivity, the hope, the kisses, the smiles, the laughs, the bounce in my step, and the glow in my heart. You presence in my life is like the biggest cherry on top of the best sundae that one could ever ask for... And we haven't even gotten to all the nuts! THANK YOU to all those iconoclasts, anti-establishmentarians, anarchists, dreamers, poets, loners, lovers, and deep thinkers. Thank you for paving the path to individualism. I humbly walk in your footsteps. (There, now, we've addressed the nuts...)
So, Charlie, I know that you read and comment on this blog regularly. Just know that you are always in my thoughts. Thank you for all that is to come.
Good night, all. I am going to live in the moment and enjoy the fire, the wine, the smoke, and the lunar eclipse. I did mention that I was a very lucky guy, I hope.
Good night. I publish this post without editing. (Something I rarely do, but the fire is more important than and dangling participles...)
Carpe Diem. CARPE. DIEM.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
I'm going to take some advice from my good friend, Kellan, tonight. I have been trying to find a 3 hour time slot in which to write about everything that has been jamming up in my head since I've taken a 'writing holiday' as they might say in Europe... Instead, I just set my timer for 50 minutes. So, you have my attention for the next 50 minutes (give or take...)
I've been so wanting to write and tell you just how fortunate and blessed I really am. Forget cancer. I want to talk about my friends.
Were I to write this in chronological order, I'd be starting with my friend, Billy, who helped me out with some lodging assistance on the first day of my spring break, and conclude with dinner here at the Inn at 29 Palms last night with one of my closest friends.
IF I WERE, however, to write this particular entry in chronological order - and, since I'm writing on the clock - I might have missed out on sharing the most important development in my life of late.
That 'development' would be my girlfriend, Charlie. We met back in December very shortly after my biopsy, and worked at building a friendship and exploring chemistry. I'm happy to say that that friendship and chemistry are strong, as are mutual respect, admiration, and communication. I couldn't tell you the last time I had a girlfriend. It feels good and I'm happy that I don't have to expend time, energy, and money dating any longer. That's not to say that I'm not lavishing Charlie richly - I am. It's just with fun times, Harley rides, home-cooked meals, laughs, sing-a-longs, and sunsets - not fine dining, ostentatious floral displays, or material gifts. Time. Time is the gift. And Charlie gets it. Better yet, she gets me. And it seems I get her...
I am excited.
Thank you for that, Charlie.
Sweet! I've still got 29 minutes left. Go Kellan!!
Let's talk about my Spring Break... I have to say, it certainly crystallized some of my feelings regarding my friends - my life, really. Let me share the travelogue, and we can go from there...
Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, March 15, 16, 17:
Charlie came up and we celebrated her 52nd birthday (before all you politically correct types jump my sh** for disclosing a lady's age - fret not, Charlie is happy to share her true age... Besides, I am a gentleman, remember?)
We had a smashing weekend, including two motorcycle rides, the second of which was to Big Bear Mountain and Big Bear City. The bike was flawless, the scenery spectacular, the weather crisp and clear... It was, in short, a fantastic weekend (complete with not one, not two, but three full moons!!!!). You can ask my friend, Big Jim, about that oddity... Big Jim joined us from Orange County for the Saturday evening barbecue. He was my neighbor back in Tustin 10 years ago. I hadn't seen him in 7 years. I'm glad I tracked him down. We had a blast.
The barbecue Saturday night produced many laughs. Sunday morning was to be breakfast and the aforementioned Big Bear ride. But, Charlie and I took a one hour detour to help a stranded motorist. (I apologized to Charlie for cutting into her Harley time, and her reply was spot on: "Honey, you've got to help, you don't have a choice." She was right, of course...)
Monday, March 17 (First day of my spring break)
Off I went to teach a final statistics class at UOP. I stayed the night in San Bernardino thanks to Billy and his reward points. That saved me about 3 hours in round trip travel!
Tuesday, March 18
Here's a fun day for you (and illustrative of my typical days 'off')...
I woke at 5:10AM, and headed out the door ten minutes later on my way to meeting the one and only David Lagerson for a round of golf. Describing David would be too hard - think a cross between Shrek, Frankenstein, Robert Redford, and Arthur Miller... See what I mean? That makes no sense! So, I took 3 bucks from Little Davy and headed off to lunch... For the record, I shot 94 and he had a 93...
Lunch was a splendiferous affair (yes, I made that word up) with my dear friend and former Hertz co-worker (along with the likes of the Mu, Jimmy Flo, Big Earl, and Steve-O). I met Shelly King in her office in Riverside and off we went. We were just like peas and carrots! Shelly is a smiling, positive, funny, fun person. I hadn't seen her in 7 or 8 years. I'm so glad I tracked her down. We had a blast.
After lunch, I motored toward Placentia, where my dear friend, Dawn, was waiting for me to jump in her stylist's chair for a much-needed spruce-up. But first, a side trip to Lake Forest and the Oakley mothership to purchase my new sunglasses. And on the way from there to my haircut I stopped off to see my dear friends, the Hemingways. I caught up with Tom and Dee, then had a professional haircut. Finally, Dawn and I settled down at her place in Tustin with a vegetarian pizza and some red wine. After a couple hours of conversation and some 'tutoring' (Dawn added to my knowledge of country music and I helped her with her online dating profile), it was off to bed.
Wednesday, March 19
I left Dawn's at 7AM to head to Hillview High School and a visit with some of the best people in the world. (And, yes, I did make up the guest bed before I left!) Dawn and her son, Matthew, were still sleeping when I tiptoed out...
The first person I saw at Hillview, of course, was the man himself. Tim O'Donoghue is a teacher's dream. He is unquestionably, hands down, not even close, winner-by-a-country-mile THE BEST BOSS I HAVE EVER HAD! I love this man, and I am not the only one...
I also got to see Eric Eidenmueller (Mr. E), Judy Watts, Ms. Barcelo, Bob Buckles, and Sue Warmack. Of course, my friend and mentor, Mr. Barry Turner, is missed whenever I set foot on campus. A couple of years ago, Barry was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or ALS). He is one of my role models and a constant inspiration. Thank you for all you have done for me, Barry Turner. I love you.
After seeing my friends at Hillview, I headed to a mathematics book adoption conference in Costa Mesa. No, it's not as exciting as it sounds - there are no sad and homeless textbooks forlornly seeking shelter. No, it's just a bunch of textbook manufacturers trying to convince rooms full of math folk that our students will learn common core math concepts most readily with this book! Or... with this learning system! Or... with this completely scale-able, customizable, state of the art pedagogy! Whatever. I dutifully attended all the sessions on my day off and moved on to my next couple of appointments. One of my student's parents was in town and offered to buy me a late lunch at her favorite Chinese restaurant in Lakewood. We met for a few minutes, and I was off to Gardena to meet with a college student of mine. (You will note that I rarely use the term 'former student' - I just think of them all as my students - and friends...). We enjoyed an hour of wonderful conversation and caught up on many topics. I am so glad we got together...
Next stop, off to spend a couple of nights with my dear friend, Tina...
We shall have to pick up the tread here tomorrow... My 50 minute alarm went off some time ago, and, after a 10 minute facebook break, I set it for another 40... That 40 is winding down, and so am I.
"Mister Pea...
Thank you for always being so patient with us. ... you are a fantastic teacher. Thank you for letting us into your life and coming to us when you needed help. You made us feel so much your equal. I hope you get whatever you need, because you deserve it. Love you, P! I'm going to be cliche now, and say Carpe Diem!"
Carpe Diem and buenos noches...
I've been so wanting to write and tell you just how fortunate and blessed I really am. Forget cancer. I want to talk about my friends.
Were I to write this in chronological order, I'd be starting with my friend, Billy, who helped me out with some lodging assistance on the first day of my spring break, and conclude with dinner here at the Inn at 29 Palms last night with one of my closest friends.
IF I WERE, however, to write this particular entry in chronological order - and, since I'm writing on the clock - I might have missed out on sharing the most important development in my life of late.
That 'development' would be my girlfriend, Charlie. We met back in December very shortly after my biopsy, and worked at building a friendship and exploring chemistry. I'm happy to say that that friendship and chemistry are strong, as are mutual respect, admiration, and communication. I couldn't tell you the last time I had a girlfriend. It feels good and I'm happy that I don't have to expend time, energy, and money dating any longer. That's not to say that I'm not lavishing Charlie richly - I am. It's just with fun times, Harley rides, home-cooked meals, laughs, sing-a-longs, and sunsets - not fine dining, ostentatious floral displays, or material gifts. Time. Time is the gift. And Charlie gets it. Better yet, she gets me. And it seems I get her...
I am excited.
Thank you for that, Charlie.
Sweet! I've still got 29 minutes left. Go Kellan!!
Let's talk about my Spring Break... I have to say, it certainly crystallized some of my feelings regarding my friends - my life, really. Let me share the travelogue, and we can go from there...
Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, March 15, 16, 17:
Charlie came up and we celebrated her 52nd birthday (before all you politically correct types jump my sh** for disclosing a lady's age - fret not, Charlie is happy to share her true age... Besides, I am a gentleman, remember?)
We had a smashing weekend, including two motorcycle rides, the second of which was to Big Bear Mountain and Big Bear City. The bike was flawless, the scenery spectacular, the weather crisp and clear... It was, in short, a fantastic weekend (complete with not one, not two, but three full moons!!!!). You can ask my friend, Big Jim, about that oddity... Big Jim joined us from Orange County for the Saturday evening barbecue. He was my neighbor back in Tustin 10 years ago. I hadn't seen him in 7 years. I'm glad I tracked him down. We had a blast.
The barbecue Saturday night produced many laughs. Sunday morning was to be breakfast and the aforementioned Big Bear ride. But, Charlie and I took a one hour detour to help a stranded motorist. (I apologized to Charlie for cutting into her Harley time, and her reply was spot on: "Honey, you've got to help, you don't have a choice." She was right, of course...)
Monday, March 17 (First day of my spring break)
Off I went to teach a final statistics class at UOP. I stayed the night in San Bernardino thanks to Billy and his reward points. That saved me about 3 hours in round trip travel!
Tuesday, March 18
Here's a fun day for you (and illustrative of my typical days 'off')...
I woke at 5:10AM, and headed out the door ten minutes later on my way to meeting the one and only David Lagerson for a round of golf. Describing David would be too hard - think a cross between Shrek, Frankenstein, Robert Redford, and Arthur Miller... See what I mean? That makes no sense! So, I took 3 bucks from Little Davy and headed off to lunch... For the record, I shot 94 and he had a 93...
Lunch was a splendiferous affair (yes, I made that word up) with my dear friend and former Hertz co-worker (along with the likes of the Mu, Jimmy Flo, Big Earl, and Steve-O). I met Shelly King in her office in Riverside and off we went. We were just like peas and carrots! Shelly is a smiling, positive, funny, fun person. I hadn't seen her in 7 or 8 years. I'm so glad I tracked her down. We had a blast.
After lunch, I motored toward Placentia, where my dear friend, Dawn, was waiting for me to jump in her stylist's chair for a much-needed spruce-up. But first, a side trip to Lake Forest and the Oakley mothership to purchase my new sunglasses. And on the way from there to my haircut I stopped off to see my dear friends, the Hemingways. I caught up with Tom and Dee, then had a professional haircut. Finally, Dawn and I settled down at her place in Tustin with a vegetarian pizza and some red wine. After a couple hours of conversation and some 'tutoring' (Dawn added to my knowledge of country music and I helped her with her online dating profile), it was off to bed.
Wednesday, March 19
I left Dawn's at 7AM to head to Hillview High School and a visit with some of the best people in the world. (And, yes, I did make up the guest bed before I left!) Dawn and her son, Matthew, were still sleeping when I tiptoed out...
The first person I saw at Hillview, of course, was the man himself. Tim O'Donoghue is a teacher's dream. He is unquestionably, hands down, not even close, winner-by-a-country-mile THE BEST BOSS I HAVE EVER HAD! I love this man, and I am not the only one...
I also got to see Eric Eidenmueller (Mr. E), Judy Watts, Ms. Barcelo, Bob Buckles, and Sue Warmack. Of course, my friend and mentor, Mr. Barry Turner, is missed whenever I set foot on campus. A couple of years ago, Barry was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or ALS). He is one of my role models and a constant inspiration. Thank you for all you have done for me, Barry Turner. I love you.
After seeing my friends at Hillview, I headed to a mathematics book adoption conference in Costa Mesa. No, it's not as exciting as it sounds - there are no sad and homeless textbooks forlornly seeking shelter. No, it's just a bunch of textbook manufacturers trying to convince rooms full of math folk that our students will learn common core math concepts most readily with this book! Or... with this learning system! Or... with this completely scale-able, customizable, state of the art pedagogy! Whatever. I dutifully attended all the sessions on my day off and moved on to my next couple of appointments. One of my student's parents was in town and offered to buy me a late lunch at her favorite Chinese restaurant in Lakewood. We met for a few minutes, and I was off to Gardena to meet with a college student of mine. (You will note that I rarely use the term 'former student' - I just think of them all as my students - and friends...). We enjoyed an hour of wonderful conversation and caught up on many topics. I am so glad we got together...
Next stop, off to spend a couple of nights with my dear friend, Tina...
We shall have to pick up the tread here tomorrow... My 50 minute alarm went off some time ago, and, after a 10 minute facebook break, I set it for another 40... That 40 is winding down, and so am I.
"Mister Pea...
Thank you for always being so patient with us. ... you are a fantastic teacher. Thank you for letting us into your life and coming to us when you needed help. You made us feel so much your equal. I hope you get whatever you need, because you deserve it. Love you, P! I'm going to be cliche now, and say Carpe Diem!"
Carpe Diem and buenos noches...
Sunday, April 6, 2014
It was a rough week. The doctors appointments went well, but the energy expended just getting myself there and back caught up with me a bit this week. This week should represent a new beginning for me... No plans for the evenings this week, except for tomorrow night when Charlie may or may not come up to watch the NCAA final. Hopefully, she can come up. The point being that I hope I can start to settle into (and appreciate) my new 'normal' schedule.
It's - unfortunately - already after 9 and I really want to finish the book I'm reading and get some good sleep. So I'm going to stick to that game plan. Tomorrow is a new day and I need to be rested to meet its challenges. Good night everyone.
It's - unfortunately - already after 9 and I really want to finish the book I'm reading and get some good sleep. So I'm going to stick to that game plan. Tomorrow is a new day and I need to be rested to meet its challenges. Good night everyone.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
So, some good news tonight - oh, speaking of good news, my cardiologist today said, "You're in great shape." That's what I like to hear :)
So - back to the good news: driving the 130 miles back and forth from my doctor's appointment gave me some time to think. I realized that my writing issue of late is not related to lack of things to write about. That's the good news. In fact, I have a backlog of blog topics that could choke a horse. I don't want to think about that; that sounds painful.
No, the upshot is that I haven't written much because I've been down. Really fighting through some things, but Charlie really helped me put everything into perspective last night. That slightly different outlook helped me make it through a pretty challenging day. What was her advice? Stop. Think. Get perspective. React accordingly. Most of all, breathe...
Perspective. It's definitely influencing this blog post. I just typed a paragraph about all of the trials and tribulations that put me in the mood which was the catalyst for Charlie's advice. Aaaaand... I just erased it, because not one word of it means a damn thing. The message is important, yes, but the 'problems' don't bear mentioning in the great big scheme of things. Shit happens; deal with it.
Back to the clinical side of things...
If you've never had a cardiac stress-echo, you're missing out on a treat :)
The objective is to monitor your heart's reaction to stress. The stress - in this instance - was provided by walking on a treadmill until the heart rate becomes sufficiently elevated. I've done tests before on a bicycle, and I think there is a way of producing similar heart stress via chemical solution. As soon as the heart rate reached the target zone (2X the normal rate??), they took off the treadmill into place next to the ultrasound machine. The tech scans the heart with the 'wand' so that the doctor can observe the heart under stress. Pretty cool, actually. The only part that sucks, to be honest, is the prep work for placing the heart monitor leads. They first swab you with alcohol, then abrade your skin to remove any oils and reduce impedance in the lead/skin connection. Well, lets just say that the combination of rubbing alcohol and abraded skin doesn't even sound good; let alone feel good...
Anyway, that's all small potatoes. They told me to go home and put on Neosporin, and so I did...
Good night, all. I'm off to see the wonderful Stella for a couple of days. I'll tell all on Sunday.
Peace.
"Mr. P <3
Out of all my classes this year, I can honestly say that I always looked forward to your class the most. You are an unbelievable teacher and what makes you different from other teachers is that you develop a relationship w/every one of your students which I think is the best quality a teacher could have. You're the best!"
Thanks, Forrest. Those words really resonate with me. I hope you are well...
So - back to the good news: driving the 130 miles back and forth from my doctor's appointment gave me some time to think. I realized that my writing issue of late is not related to lack of things to write about. That's the good news. In fact, I have a backlog of blog topics that could choke a horse. I don't want to think about that; that sounds painful.
No, the upshot is that I haven't written much because I've been down. Really fighting through some things, but Charlie really helped me put everything into perspective last night. That slightly different outlook helped me make it through a pretty challenging day. What was her advice? Stop. Think. Get perspective. React accordingly. Most of all, breathe...
Perspective. It's definitely influencing this blog post. I just typed a paragraph about all of the trials and tribulations that put me in the mood which was the catalyst for Charlie's advice. Aaaaand... I just erased it, because not one word of it means a damn thing. The message is important, yes, but the 'problems' don't bear mentioning in the great big scheme of things. Shit happens; deal with it.
Back to the clinical side of things...
If you've never had a cardiac stress-echo, you're missing out on a treat :)
The objective is to monitor your heart's reaction to stress. The stress - in this instance - was provided by walking on a treadmill until the heart rate becomes sufficiently elevated. I've done tests before on a bicycle, and I think there is a way of producing similar heart stress via chemical solution. As soon as the heart rate reached the target zone (2X the normal rate??), they took off the treadmill into place next to the ultrasound machine. The tech scans the heart with the 'wand' so that the doctor can observe the heart under stress. Pretty cool, actually. The only part that sucks, to be honest, is the prep work for placing the heart monitor leads. They first swab you with alcohol, then abrade your skin to remove any oils and reduce impedance in the lead/skin connection. Well, lets just say that the combination of rubbing alcohol and abraded skin doesn't even sound good; let alone feel good...
Anyway, that's all small potatoes. They told me to go home and put on Neosporin, and so I did...
Good night, all. I'm off to see the wonderful Stella for a couple of days. I'll tell all on Sunday.
Peace.
"Mr. P <3
Out of all my classes this year, I can honestly say that I always looked forward to your class the most. You are an unbelievable teacher and what makes you different from other teachers is that you develop a relationship w/every one of your students which I think is the best quality a teacher could have. You're the best!"
Thanks, Forrest. Those words really resonate with me. I hope you are well...
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
So... I'm still not writing. Why? I don't know. Have I lost my passion? I don't know. Have I run out of important things to share? I don't know. Do I still care about the blog? Yes. Do I still have things to share? Yes. So, what is slowing me down? I don't know.
Let's start with the present. Today happens to be my birthday. I'm 56 years young today. So, that's a good day, right? Well... I suppose. Unfortunately, it didn't go as hoped. The day started off with two blood tests and ended with me crashed in bed for hours, fighting off chills and body aches.
I suppose it's time for me to get a handle on this roller coaster ride... I'm ping-ponging from the dichotomous extremes of wanting to take on the world to struggling just to get out of bed. Can I possibly find a happy medium somewhere?
I know that I usually wait until the end of the post to provide an affirmation, but I think I need the boost now. Here is a note I received just tonight from a student at school (not even my student, by the way...). Perhaps I need to listen to these voices, not the ones in my frenetic brain...
"Happy birthday... I hope you have a great one... I am glad I met you. You have made a huge difference in my life and you deserve the best; have a good day."
Katie, I wish it was a good day. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.
Thursday I go to the Cardiologist and Friday the Urologist. The best news, however, is that Friday night and Saturday I get to see Stella <3
Life is not so bad after all.
Good night, all.
Be well.
PS - One important note I wanted to share with my friends back east: I will not be able to come home and visit this summer. I've decided to lay low here in California to recover from my surgery the end of May. I hope to see you all in the fall!
Let's start with the present. Today happens to be my birthday. I'm 56 years young today. So, that's a good day, right? Well... I suppose. Unfortunately, it didn't go as hoped. The day started off with two blood tests and ended with me crashed in bed for hours, fighting off chills and body aches.
I suppose it's time for me to get a handle on this roller coaster ride... I'm ping-ponging from the dichotomous extremes of wanting to take on the world to struggling just to get out of bed. Can I possibly find a happy medium somewhere?
I know that I usually wait until the end of the post to provide an affirmation, but I think I need the boost now. Here is a note I received just tonight from a student at school (not even my student, by the way...). Perhaps I need to listen to these voices, not the ones in my frenetic brain...
"Happy birthday... I hope you have a great one... I am glad I met you. You have made a huge difference in my life and you deserve the best; have a good day."
Katie, I wish it was a good day. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.
Thursday I go to the Cardiologist and Friday the Urologist. The best news, however, is that Friday night and Saturday I get to see Stella <3
Life is not so bad after all.
Good night, all.
Be well.
PS - One important note I wanted to share with my friends back east: I will not be able to come home and visit this summer. I've decided to lay low here in California to recover from my surgery the end of May. I hope to see you all in the fall!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Hi, everyone. It's been a while, so this feels a little - I don't know - awkward?? Why, you ask? Well. I don't know how to put it into words - and I suppose that's what makes it a little awkward.
A few theories regarding my recent malaise:
1. Unplug technology
2. Didn't 'need' it
3. Obsess much?
4. I'm on vacation
5. I had nothing to say...
Now, let's tackle theorem #5 first:
As a blogger, or someone with designs on writing regularly, the biggest fear we face (IMHO) is that we will run out of things to say. (The second fear is that no one will read one word of it - not even our self-ordained masterpiece!) I suppose this means that having an audience - heck, having a conversation with anyone - takes effort and attention if it is to be done properly.... I suppose I could have posted daily travelogues in 5 minute cell-phone dispatches, but that format doesn't seem to suit my writing style. So, no, I didn't. I supposed I'd write ravenously as soon as I espied my 'home' keyboard, but, no I didn't. I supposed that after I'd rested up a day, meditated, reflected, hiked, did my taxes, submitted college grades, etc. that I'd be chomping at the bit to share something with you. Something of substance... Um, no?
So, let's hope it's not number 5.
Let's segue to nombre trois... I was getting to the point where every post became a sort of wrestling match in my own head - ideas were fighting other ideas, stories were trumping each other, every word was trying to be, well - the last word... I've been complimented often for choosing 'just the right word' but it does take time. On any given day, if I knew I wouldn't be home to blog, I fretted about perhaps squeezing one in at UOP or trying to bang out a quick one over breakfast...
No, I just can't write these posts in a 'confined space' like that... Holy crap - I'm a hippie! Confined space, indeed! I was just sitting under a canopy of stars that would make Cleopatra blush... (Hippie!)
This leads me directly without further ado right immediately and without passing go and collecting 200 dollars back to Numero Uno... Okay, maybe not so directly, but c'mon, people, I mean, I'm not trying to talk myself out of a blog audience, I'm just kinda sorta saying that I think I might need to really unplug for a while. I have found myself obsessing over Facebook posts, updating statuses, checking in, saying Happy Birthday, or sharing some deep or pithy memes (or perhaps the ubiquitous cat video).
No, I am really sensing it's time to retrench, to reclaim my own life.
That leaves my two more likely candidates - after all, as my friend the Duker would say, "I'm on vacation!" Sorry, that's a Petronis family inside joke... I am enjoying the slower pace of my vacation; although I did enjoy the 5 days on the road, too. Along with that enjoyment and relaxation, I didn't do a whole lot of deep thinking. Not consciously, at least... No deep thinking equals not much to say in blog - returning us, I suppose back to number 5 once again.
Sigh... Oh, well.
I want to give a special shout-out to all my friends who shared their time and energy with me last week: Charlene, my Monday night stats class, 'Little Davy' Lagerson, Shelly King, Big Jim Hertel, the Party Oak in Santiago Canyon, Tom and Dee Hemingway, Dawn Smith, Shaala Brown, Lily, Tina Ustation, Isa Mercado, Julian Bueno, Emily Belaguer, Oscar at CBTL, and countless friends from Santa Monica High School (Veronica, Coach Hecht, Berkely Blatz, John Harris, Stephanie Dew, Lois Thrower, Nate Hodges, Dana Bart-Bell, Ms. Bates, Ms. Springer, Karen the copier queen, etc... Excluding my Monday night stats class, I probably saw - and hugged - over two dozen of the finest people in the world last week. [P.S. The list is in chronological order as best as I can remember...]
How lucky am I?
Here's a few words from Mariah:
"Aye Yo P!
It's been so great having you as a teacher this year. You caught me on my last year and I'm so glad you did. I can honestly say that I looked forward to your class every day. You're the super homie and you did a really good job your first year. I'm definitely looking forward to visiting you next year. (Keep in mind that I'm not going to visit a lot my teachers, probably only like 5 out of all 4 years, so that means you're cool :)
<3 U Bunches"
It's cool being 'cool'.
Good night, friends.
Carpe Diem.
A few theories regarding my recent malaise:
1. Unplug technology
2. Didn't 'need' it
3. Obsess much?
4. I'm on vacation
5. I had nothing to say...
Now, let's tackle theorem #5 first:
As a blogger, or someone with designs on writing regularly, the biggest fear we face (IMHO) is that we will run out of things to say. (The second fear is that no one will read one word of it - not even our self-ordained masterpiece!) I suppose this means that having an audience - heck, having a conversation with anyone - takes effort and attention if it is to be done properly.... I suppose I could have posted daily travelogues in 5 minute cell-phone dispatches, but that format doesn't seem to suit my writing style. So, no, I didn't. I supposed I'd write ravenously as soon as I espied my 'home' keyboard, but, no I didn't. I supposed that after I'd rested up a day, meditated, reflected, hiked, did my taxes, submitted college grades, etc. that I'd be chomping at the bit to share something with you. Something of substance... Um, no?
So, let's hope it's not number 5.
Let's segue to nombre trois... I was getting to the point where every post became a sort of wrestling match in my own head - ideas were fighting other ideas, stories were trumping each other, every word was trying to be, well - the last word... I've been complimented often for choosing 'just the right word' but it does take time. On any given day, if I knew I wouldn't be home to blog, I fretted about perhaps squeezing one in at UOP or trying to bang out a quick one over breakfast...
No, I just can't write these posts in a 'confined space' like that... Holy crap - I'm a hippie! Confined space, indeed! I was just sitting under a canopy of stars that would make Cleopatra blush... (Hippie!)
This leads me directly without further ado right immediately and without passing go and collecting 200 dollars back to Numero Uno... Okay, maybe not so directly, but c'mon, people, I mean, I'm not trying to talk myself out of a blog audience, I'm just kinda sorta saying that I think I might need to really unplug for a while. I have found myself obsessing over Facebook posts, updating statuses, checking in, saying Happy Birthday, or sharing some deep or pithy memes (or perhaps the ubiquitous cat video).
No, I am really sensing it's time to retrench, to reclaim my own life.
That leaves my two more likely candidates - after all, as my friend the Duker would say, "I'm on vacation!" Sorry, that's a Petronis family inside joke... I am enjoying the slower pace of my vacation; although I did enjoy the 5 days on the road, too. Along with that enjoyment and relaxation, I didn't do a whole lot of deep thinking. Not consciously, at least... No deep thinking equals not much to say in blog - returning us, I suppose back to number 5 once again.
Sigh... Oh, well.
I want to give a special shout-out to all my friends who shared their time and energy with me last week: Charlene, my Monday night stats class, 'Little Davy' Lagerson, Shelly King, Big Jim Hertel, the Party Oak in Santiago Canyon, Tom and Dee Hemingway, Dawn Smith, Shaala Brown, Lily, Tina Ustation, Isa Mercado, Julian Bueno, Emily Belaguer, Oscar at CBTL, and countless friends from Santa Monica High School (Veronica, Coach Hecht, Berkely Blatz, John Harris, Stephanie Dew, Lois Thrower, Nate Hodges, Dana Bart-Bell, Ms. Bates, Ms. Springer, Karen the copier queen, etc... Excluding my Monday night stats class, I probably saw - and hugged - over two dozen of the finest people in the world last week. [P.S. The list is in chronological order as best as I can remember...]
How lucky am I?
Here's a few words from Mariah:
"Aye Yo P!
It's been so great having you as a teacher this year. You caught me on my last year and I'm so glad you did. I can honestly say that I looked forward to your class every day. You're the super homie and you did a really good job your first year. I'm definitely looking forward to visiting you next year. (Keep in mind that I'm not going to visit a lot my teachers, probably only like 5 out of all 4 years, so that means you're cool :)
<3 U Bunches"
It's cool being 'cool'.
Good night, friends.
Carpe Diem.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Friday, March 14, 2014
One of my best days in forever! Hyperbole much? Well, let's review; I:
1. Talked to my mom and dad. Not like, "Hi, mom, I'm busy right now, can I call you back in 10 minutes?" Sure, honey. And.... of course, you forget because you are tied up with some other minutiae. I got a chance to really TALK to my mom and dad tonight. In fact, I even had to give my mom a 'yellow card' because I could hear her in the background tying to get a couple more smoke signals through from NY to CA. She's a pip! I told her tonight how proud I was that she still goes to Curves twice a week, even though her workout partner, confidante, traveling companion, best friend and sister passed away a couple of weeks ago. I know I am going to live to be a hundred. There is not an ounce of doubt in my mind about that now. Again, thank you, cancer...
No, this conversation was real, with depth, energy, and communication. I emphasize that last part because, at times, we go through the motions of these conversations. I mean, I can easily remember times when my mom would call me an amount which may have seemed, I don't know, excessive, but then again, I'm certain my kids feel the same way. No, I'll try so very hard not to take those phone calls for granted, mom. You are the absolute best, Rose Petronis.
Many phone calls home are punctuated by a quick 'hey dad' relayed through my mom. Fathers and sons don't 'talk' as often, but we don't have to. We just know that things are good - or at the very least that things are tolerable. Hey, it ain't always pretty, but we always know who is going to emerge at the end...
But moms, moms need constant reassurance. Are you sure you're okay? [This inquiry is sometimes delivered with no other identifying information as to why I might not be okay... At other times, the plea is a tad more direct, "I'm worried you're doing too much..." or "I'm worried that you're not getting enough..." or "O wish you wouldn't ride that motorcycle..." or... You get the picture.
My dad and I - unless it's talking about sports quickly - usually get right to the heart of the matter. Tonight, we talked about diet, weight loss, the overall health impact of losing weight, the stress on the body, etc. Sorry if I sound like a zealot. I'm not hear to preach. I just know how I feel and how much of that is attributable to eating better.
So, it sounded like my dad has decided against knee replacement on his other knee, and is adopting a healthier lifestyle.
Very cool.
I love you very much, mom and dad. Be well.
So, in retrospect, all the other cool shiznet that happened to me today? Yeah, no. They don't make the list with "TALKED ON THE PHONE WITH MY MOM AND DAD."
Peace, out!
Tonight, someone who is not only a student and a friend, but a future educator as well. Sylvana, this one's all you, kid:
"P-dawg! (yes, I just went there)
Well... what can I say? You've been such a fantastic person year-round, and I really appreciate how kind and sympathetic you've been to me. I really hope good luck stays with you, and that things will turn out well!!!
P.S. EXCREMENT!"
Sylvana, yes, things turned out quite well. I am one very happy camper.
This happy camper is about to reward himself with "Office Space" That's my stapler... Yeah, you're gonna have to come in on Saturday... Yeah...
Later, folks!
Now get out there and Carpe that Diem!!!!
Much, much, much love...
1. Talked to my mom and dad. Not like, "Hi, mom, I'm busy right now, can I call you back in 10 minutes?" Sure, honey. And.... of course, you forget because you are tied up with some other minutiae. I got a chance to really TALK to my mom and dad tonight. In fact, I even had to give my mom a 'yellow card' because I could hear her in the background tying to get a couple more smoke signals through from NY to CA. She's a pip! I told her tonight how proud I was that she still goes to Curves twice a week, even though her workout partner, confidante, traveling companion, best friend and sister passed away a couple of weeks ago. I know I am going to live to be a hundred. There is not an ounce of doubt in my mind about that now. Again, thank you, cancer...
No, this conversation was real, with depth, energy, and communication. I emphasize that last part because, at times, we go through the motions of these conversations. I mean, I can easily remember times when my mom would call me an amount which may have seemed, I don't know, excessive, but then again, I'm certain my kids feel the same way. No, I'll try so very hard not to take those phone calls for granted, mom. You are the absolute best, Rose Petronis.
Many phone calls home are punctuated by a quick 'hey dad' relayed through my mom. Fathers and sons don't 'talk' as often, but we don't have to. We just know that things are good - or at the very least that things are tolerable. Hey, it ain't always pretty, but we always know who is going to emerge at the end...
But moms, moms need constant reassurance. Are you sure you're okay? [This inquiry is sometimes delivered with no other identifying information as to why I might not be okay... At other times, the plea is a tad more direct, "I'm worried you're doing too much..." or "I'm worried that you're not getting enough..." or "O wish you wouldn't ride that motorcycle..." or... You get the picture.
My dad and I - unless it's talking about sports quickly - usually get right to the heart of the matter. Tonight, we talked about diet, weight loss, the overall health impact of losing weight, the stress on the body, etc. Sorry if I sound like a zealot. I'm not hear to preach. I just know how I feel and how much of that is attributable to eating better.
So, it sounded like my dad has decided against knee replacement on his other knee, and is adopting a healthier lifestyle.
Very cool.
I love you very much, mom and dad. Be well.
So, in retrospect, all the other cool shiznet that happened to me today? Yeah, no. They don't make the list with "TALKED ON THE PHONE WITH MY MOM AND DAD."
Peace, out!
Tonight, someone who is not only a student and a friend, but a future educator as well. Sylvana, this one's all you, kid:
"P-dawg! (yes, I just went there)
Well... what can I say? You've been such a fantastic person year-round, and I really appreciate how kind and sympathetic you've been to me. I really hope good luck stays with you, and that things will turn out well!!!
P.S. EXCREMENT!"
Sylvana, yes, things turned out quite well. I am one very happy camper.
This happy camper is about to reward himself with "Office Space" That's my stapler... Yeah, you're gonna have to come in on Saturday... Yeah...
Later, folks!
Now get out there and Carpe that Diem!!!!
Much, much, much love...
Thursday, March 13, 2014
It's an interesting evening over here at Chez Petronis... For the first time in a long time, I did not obsess about whether I'd get a chance to blog, or if I'd lose readers if I zoned out for a night... No, I just took care of business, quite honestly.
Okay, now I have to explain. I had a very productive day at work today - for many reasons. I'm hitting my spring break with just the right mindset, I think. So, when I got home after work today, I weighed my options carefully. I really wanted to walk out to the mailbox and it looked like it may rain, and it would be so cool to get caught out on a short hike in a rainstorm (would have been the second time this year for me...). But, I was determined to do some house work. I have been whipping my place into shape. In fact, I am going to make up a new phrase - deep shape. What the heck does that mean? Well, it means that my normal method of cleaning house is to round up a bunch of loose odds and ends and then stuff them in a sack. Next, find an out of the way place to hide the sack, and... voila! Clutter gone! Only until the next time you start moving stuff around and you find that 'sack'. And inevitably, within said sack, the mortgage papers you spent an hour looking for, the remote control, and the cell phone charger...
Nope. That kind of "Ken Clean" would not do for this renewal. Every drawer in the dresser was emptied and restocked. All the boxes were consolidated. Bike gear got put in the bike bag. "Winter" clothes got put into a storage bin. In short, this is the real deal. No stuffing pizza boxes under the arm chair. No rounding up all of the loose CDs and putting them into overlapping newspaper since the jewel cases seem to have run off and jumped over the moon with my missing socks!!!
I'm very happy that I am taking this on, and I know that this energy boost can be attributed directly to three things: 1. I've said it before, I'll say it again - cancer has reawakened me and forced me to look at my life through a different lens. I didn't really like the life I was leading, but we can always change. Always. 2 and 3 are direct descendants of 1... I have more energy because I'm eating better. And I choose to be happy. I know those words are easy to type, but I believe them - and I hope my actions show them.
Ding. Okay, sorry folks. A bell just went off in my head. I'm reminded of the affirmations I share with you night after night. In the majority, my students state that I was almost always smiling. I was almost always smiling... Wow. I had no idea. I'm serious. I mean, c'mon, I've shared some dark moments - some very low moments - with you... Is it possible to 'stuff'' all of that and still be (of should I say 'appear') happy? I guess it is, if my students' lasting impression is that of a supportive, caring, and positive teacher; I'll take that 11 times out of 10 as my buddy, Dean Smith, would say. No, not that Dean Smith...
So, while I'm on a roll, I'm going to throw it out there: Legacy. If my legacy as a teacher even approaches those three words (supportive, caring, positive), then I will have made a difference. I'm sorry. I have to wallow in these words for a moment. I will have made a difference. I will have made a difference. I will have made a difference. I. Will. Have. Made. A. Difference.
Oh, my. What better emotion could any human being ever experience? To help your fellow man? To leave him better than when you found him? That is absolutely priceless.
Again, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm belaboring this point, but - seriously - this is not the way I normally think... I am usually too busy trying put one foot in front of the other, plodding tirelessly from point A to point B to stop and think of the big picture.
I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to help people. I know that this feeling can sustain me for another 10 years in the classroom. It's going to be fun!
Okay, it's late, and my computer just rebooted - thankfully I have the blog set up to auto-save... Anyway, it's time...
Callie sends this edition to the presses:
"P-dawg -
You are the kindest, most understanding teacher I've ever had. I really love how I've felt comfortable sharing my life stories with you. Thank you for being such an awesome listener and an amazing teacher. Don't let anything get you down, because as you can see, we all LOVE you and wish you were coming back next year. Have an amazing, fun trip this summer/year and stay safe :) We're going to miss you."
Words to help me sleep soundly. Good night everyone. Thank you for sharing in my joy.
Carpe Diem.
Okay, now I have to explain. I had a very productive day at work today - for many reasons. I'm hitting my spring break with just the right mindset, I think. So, when I got home after work today, I weighed my options carefully. I really wanted to walk out to the mailbox and it looked like it may rain, and it would be so cool to get caught out on a short hike in a rainstorm (would have been the second time this year for me...). But, I was determined to do some house work. I have been whipping my place into shape. In fact, I am going to make up a new phrase - deep shape. What the heck does that mean? Well, it means that my normal method of cleaning house is to round up a bunch of loose odds and ends and then stuff them in a sack. Next, find an out of the way place to hide the sack, and... voila! Clutter gone! Only until the next time you start moving stuff around and you find that 'sack'. And inevitably, within said sack, the mortgage papers you spent an hour looking for, the remote control, and the cell phone charger...
Nope. That kind of "Ken Clean" would not do for this renewal. Every drawer in the dresser was emptied and restocked. All the boxes were consolidated. Bike gear got put in the bike bag. "Winter" clothes got put into a storage bin. In short, this is the real deal. No stuffing pizza boxes under the arm chair. No rounding up all of the loose CDs and putting them into overlapping newspaper since the jewel cases seem to have run off and jumped over the moon with my missing socks!!!
I'm very happy that I am taking this on, and I know that this energy boost can be attributed directly to three things: 1. I've said it before, I'll say it again - cancer has reawakened me and forced me to look at my life through a different lens. I didn't really like the life I was leading, but we can always change. Always. 2 and 3 are direct descendants of 1... I have more energy because I'm eating better. And I choose to be happy. I know those words are easy to type, but I believe them - and I hope my actions show them.
Ding. Okay, sorry folks. A bell just went off in my head. I'm reminded of the affirmations I share with you night after night. In the majority, my students state that I was almost always smiling. I was almost always smiling... Wow. I had no idea. I'm serious. I mean, c'mon, I've shared some dark moments - some very low moments - with you... Is it possible to 'stuff'' all of that and still be (of should I say 'appear') happy? I guess it is, if my students' lasting impression is that of a supportive, caring, and positive teacher; I'll take that 11 times out of 10 as my buddy, Dean Smith, would say. No, not that Dean Smith...
So, while I'm on a roll, I'm going to throw it out there: Legacy. If my legacy as a teacher even approaches those three words (supportive, caring, positive), then I will have made a difference. I'm sorry. I have to wallow in these words for a moment. I will have made a difference. I will have made a difference. I will have made a difference. I. Will. Have. Made. A. Difference.
Oh, my. What better emotion could any human being ever experience? To help your fellow man? To leave him better than when you found him? That is absolutely priceless.
Again, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm belaboring this point, but - seriously - this is not the way I normally think... I am usually too busy trying put one foot in front of the other, plodding tirelessly from point A to point B to stop and think of the big picture.
I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to help people. I know that this feeling can sustain me for another 10 years in the classroom. It's going to be fun!
Okay, it's late, and my computer just rebooted - thankfully I have the blog set up to auto-save... Anyway, it's time...
Callie sends this edition to the presses:
"P-dawg -
You are the kindest, most understanding teacher I've ever had. I really love how I've felt comfortable sharing my life stories with you. Thank you for being such an awesome listener and an amazing teacher. Don't let anything get you down, because as you can see, we all LOVE you and wish you were coming back next year. Have an amazing, fun trip this summer/year and stay safe :) We're going to miss you."
Words to help me sleep soundly. Good night everyone. Thank you for sharing in my joy.
Carpe Diem.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Alright, it's time to get back to business! I just got back from getting the mail, and the walk did me a world of good. I always enjoy retrieving my mail by foot, and today the payoff was worth the trek: my HOG magazine, and a Netflix envelope (Oh, Office Space!). Oh, I forgot, I was getting OFFICE SPACE! Oh, I can't wait to watch that bad boy!
It's impossible to be in a bad mood after watching that movie :) While I'm on the subject of moods, I have to admit my last few posts have been riddled with timid, tepid, tales. I am sure that new readers are looking at the past few efforts saying, "What the heck is this? I spent 10 minutes reading this drivel?" I'm afraid so, I mean - not all of Picasso's paintings were Picasso's. Well, technically, they were, but you know what I mean, right? Speaking of/to new readers: You may have to read a few more posts to understand the allure of a trip the mailbox. Just sayin.
So, the walk was an excellent opportunity to do a little reflecting, and the result was unambiguous. I know this doesn't sound earth-shattering in the great big scheme of things, but it represents a significant departure in my own personal philosophy, vis-a-viz the blog. Geez, it sounds like a need a drum roll up in here, or something... Okay, okay, without further ado...
I've decided that now is the time for me to read the blog.
Hey, I told you it wasn't earth-shattering! Cut me some slack...
Of course, this 'startling revelation' begs the question: Why haven't you read it up until now?
Well, since you asked... I am not sure. Here are a few theories:
1. I can be hard on myself sometimes. (Duh) Perhaps I worried that re-reading would lead to second-guessing or Monday morning quarterbacking... I know that when I read it I'm going to cringe occasionally wishing I'd chosen a different word, or analogy, or allegory, or... Whatever. I know that I'll see errors in punctuation and spelling, and grammar. Oh, well. I'm sure I'll read whiny-ass posts that make me want to puke or yell out, "Just grow a pair!" So be it.
2. I know I'm going to read something and say, "Oh, crap. I introduced something here and never finished the thread..." I fancy myself a storyteller, and storytellers don't 'weave and leave' (Naader - I made that one up on the fly!). No, it's the absolute nadir of 'being a tease' for an author to start spinning a yarn - and then not finish it! How unsatisfying! How lame! No cigarettes here, please, none of us are satisfied... So, why didn't I just add this to list number 1 above? Because the above issues will not compel me to print corrections - yes, I will cringe, yes, I will wince, but, no, I don't think the above issues will send me screaming to a re-write... Finding loose ends will make mecrazy crazier! I will feel compelled to retell stories and tie up loose ends and explain lapses ad nauseum... Or not. I will just have to wince and squirm and laugh my way through those errors. (Unless, of course, it's something really important. And, I know that on at least once I've left myself a list of topics to address, so...). Time to suck it up, buttercup.
3. I might be bored to death. Naaaah. What was I thinking? I'm gonna laugh my ass off.
I can't see what I'm going to learn from the 'me' of 18 months ago.
This should be good.
Tonight, let's close with some thoughts from Jessica.
"Mr. P!!!
You have been such a GREAT teacher. I was lucky to have you as a teacher for two years. You have a very fun personality and always seem to have a smile on your face. You have been a great help, and I can honestly say that you have been the best teacher I've had in high school. I have so much to say that I can go on and on, but to keep it short, I wish you nothing but the best, try to keep in touch... Good luck with everything. Thanks for all you've done."
Thanks, Jessica - you were a great TA, too :)
Be well, everyone. Lots to do before I turn in tonight! See you again soon.
Carpe Diem!
It's impossible to be in a bad mood after watching that movie :) While I'm on the subject of moods, I have to admit my last few posts have been riddled with timid, tepid, tales. I am sure that new readers are looking at the past few efforts saying, "What the heck is this? I spent 10 minutes reading this drivel?" I'm afraid so, I mean - not all of Picasso's paintings were Picasso's. Well, technically, they were, but you know what I mean, right? Speaking of/to new readers: You may have to read a few more posts to understand the allure of a trip the mailbox. Just sayin.
So, the walk was an excellent opportunity to do a little reflecting, and the result was unambiguous. I know this doesn't sound earth-shattering in the great big scheme of things, but it represents a significant departure in my own personal philosophy, vis-a-viz the blog. Geez, it sounds like a need a drum roll up in here, or something... Okay, okay, without further ado...
I've decided that now is the time for me to read the blog.
Hey, I told you it wasn't earth-shattering! Cut me some slack...
Of course, this 'startling revelation' begs the question: Why haven't you read it up until now?
Well, since you asked... I am not sure. Here are a few theories:
1. I can be hard on myself sometimes. (Duh) Perhaps I worried that re-reading would lead to second-guessing or Monday morning quarterbacking... I know that when I read it I'm going to cringe occasionally wishing I'd chosen a different word, or analogy, or allegory, or... Whatever. I know that I'll see errors in punctuation and spelling, and grammar. Oh, well. I'm sure I'll read whiny-ass posts that make me want to puke or yell out, "Just grow a pair!" So be it.
2. I know I'm going to read something and say, "Oh, crap. I introduced something here and never finished the thread..." I fancy myself a storyteller, and storytellers don't 'weave and leave' (Naader - I made that one up on the fly!). No, it's the absolute nadir of 'being a tease' for an author to start spinning a yarn - and then not finish it! How unsatisfying! How lame! No cigarettes here, please, none of us are satisfied... So, why didn't I just add this to list number 1 above? Because the above issues will not compel me to print corrections - yes, I will cringe, yes, I will wince, but, no, I don't think the above issues will send me screaming to a re-write... Finding loose ends will make me
3. I might be bored to death. Naaaah. What was I thinking? I'm gonna laugh my ass off.
I can't see what I'm going to learn from the 'me' of 18 months ago.
This should be good.
Tonight, let's close with some thoughts from Jessica.
"Mr. P!!!
You have been such a GREAT teacher. I was lucky to have you as a teacher for two years. You have a very fun personality and always seem to have a smile on your face. You have been a great help, and I can honestly say that you have been the best teacher I've had in high school. I have so much to say that I can go on and on, but to keep it short, I wish you nothing but the best, try to keep in touch... Good luck with everything. Thanks for all you've done."
Thanks, Jessica - you were a great TA, too :)
Be well, everyone. Lots to do before I turn in tonight! See you again soon.
Carpe Diem!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
The pre-op tour continued today. I mentioned previously that there are a lot of appointments coming up before surgery. I had an EKG (electrocardiogram) today, and it showed an abnormality in my heartbeat. So, the next step in that process will be a Stress Echogram at a cardiologist's office.
I'll keep you posted.
Oh, the abnormality? A potential problem with the electrical impulses at the 'AV Node.' The AV node (Atrioventricular node) sets the rhythm of the heartbeats. Apparently, there is a delay in the conductance of the signals at that node.
I think that the stress test will prove that this is nothing serious. We shall see.
Good night.
I'll keep you posted.
Oh, the abnormality? A potential problem with the electrical impulses at the 'AV Node.' The AV node (Atrioventricular node) sets the rhythm of the heartbeats. Apparently, there is a delay in the conductance of the signals at that node.
I think that the stress test will prove that this is nothing serious. We shall see.
Good night.
Tonight's message is a simple one. I just want to acknowledge that I have found some peace of mind within the past few days. This may not be what readers want to read when they tune in to a blog, but it is the truth.
The truth is - and I embrace this 100% - I am writing this blog for ME. Yes, I have an idea that people can benefit from reading about my experiences, or from laughing at stupid things that may happen to me, or from things that I may write about, BUT...
What this blog really represents to me is a place to sit, with a blank page in front of me, and to share with you whatever happens to be on my mind at that moment. That's really about it. Yes, there are times that I'm at work and I think "I really want to write about this..." or when something really significant happens and it can't be ignored, or there is something time-sensitive, etc. But, at it's heart, this blog shall remain a stream of consciousness exercise - and a personal conversation between me and you.
So, this obsessing I've been doing about growing the blog audience? Not going to invest time and energy on that at this point. Wanting to create a website that people can access to read about uplifting stories, share advice, learn about treatment options, etc? Not now. Creating original content for my YouTube channel? It can wait. Establishing a foundation to help celebrate the eye-opener that is cancer? Not just yet...
I make no apologies for any of the above. I have my priorities right now. Number one is protecting my health and improving my quality of life. It has to be. Number two is documenting my story, through the blog and other outlets. A distant third is completing my doctorate. There is time for that yet...
So, if you enjoy what you read here, please keep coming back. I don't know what you'll read day-in and day-out, but I can assure you that it is similar to what you've already seen - without the pleading, high-pressure, whiny growth-oriented perspective. It will be, quite simply, whatever my brain chooses to share on a given day.
So, thanks for stopping by. I will see you again tomorrow. Life is good.
Take us home, Ian...
"P-tron!
Lame! No more room in your yearbook. But that won't stop me. You are my favorite teacher. SAMO is losing their diamond. I don't like you because you are hilarious & kind & one of the most genuine people I know, but simply because you treat me like a person - a true human being - not just as a student. Have fun on the Harley riding x-country! I'll be at Cal Poly SLO :) Architecture baby! Love you Trons..."
Thank you, Ian. I love San Luis Obispo - and I hope you are, too...
Peace, all.
Carpe Diem.
The truth is - and I embrace this 100% - I am writing this blog for ME. Yes, I have an idea that people can benefit from reading about my experiences, or from laughing at stupid things that may happen to me, or from things that I may write about, BUT...
What this blog really represents to me is a place to sit, with a blank page in front of me, and to share with you whatever happens to be on my mind at that moment. That's really about it. Yes, there are times that I'm at work and I think "I really want to write about this..." or when something really significant happens and it can't be ignored, or there is something time-sensitive, etc. But, at it's heart, this blog shall remain a stream of consciousness exercise - and a personal conversation between me and you.
So, this obsessing I've been doing about growing the blog audience? Not going to invest time and energy on that at this point. Wanting to create a website that people can access to read about uplifting stories, share advice, learn about treatment options, etc? Not now. Creating original content for my YouTube channel? It can wait. Establishing a foundation to help celebrate the eye-opener that is cancer? Not just yet...
I make no apologies for any of the above. I have my priorities right now. Number one is protecting my health and improving my quality of life. It has to be. Number two is documenting my story, through the blog and other outlets. A distant third is completing my doctorate. There is time for that yet...
So, if you enjoy what you read here, please keep coming back. I don't know what you'll read day-in and day-out, but I can assure you that it is similar to what you've already seen - without the pleading, high-pressure, whiny growth-oriented perspective. It will be, quite simply, whatever my brain chooses to share on a given day.
So, thanks for stopping by. I will see you again tomorrow. Life is good.
Take us home, Ian...
"P-tron!
Lame! No more room in your yearbook. But that won't stop me. You are my favorite teacher. SAMO is losing their diamond. I don't like you because you are hilarious & kind & one of the most genuine people I know, but simply because you treat me like a person - a true human being - not just as a student. Have fun on the Harley riding x-country! I'll be at Cal Poly SLO :) Architecture baby! Love you Trons..."
Thank you, Ian. I love San Luis Obispo - and I hope you are, too...
Peace, all.
Carpe Diem.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
The next phase of the prostate cancer fight is preparing for surgery. I want to prepare the best possible way for the best possible result, including watching my diet, exercising, doing my kegels, and completing all of the pre-op requirements.
Here are the pre-operative checks to be completed before the surgery in May:
1. Chest x-ray. As I understand it, this is a requirement for anesthesia to assure that the lungs are clear.
2. Full blood and urine work-up. Looking for unexpected readings that may indicate medical problems that may need to be addressed before surgery.
3. EKG. Check to make sure there are no cardiac irregularities which could show up during surgery.
4. Preoperative appointment with the surgeon. Go over the surgery prep, surgery, post-op, recovery, rehab, etc.
5. Pre-surgical evaluation with anesthesiologist. To evaluate potential complications during surgery - in my case, discussing my sleep apnea will be an important part of this meeting.
In the meantime, my oncologist took me off the ADT, which is great! I have also taken advantage of the opportunity of the EKG to get a cardiac stress test at the same time. The goal is to get off of blood pressure medication! Wish me luck.
"Thank you for being such a kind teacher to us. Although it is a pity you will not be at this school anymore I hope that you can continue to teach and care for others like you did for us this year. You were one of my favorite teacher this year because you were also one of the kindest. You helped those that asked for it and I could see that you were sincere to us with your feelings. I hope you can continue to be this kind of person in the future."
I am trying. I promise, I am trying.
Here are the pre-operative checks to be completed before the surgery in May:
1. Chest x-ray. As I understand it, this is a requirement for anesthesia to assure that the lungs are clear.
2. Full blood and urine work-up. Looking for unexpected readings that may indicate medical problems that may need to be addressed before surgery.
3. EKG. Check to make sure there are no cardiac irregularities which could show up during surgery.
4. Preoperative appointment with the surgeon. Go over the surgery prep, surgery, post-op, recovery, rehab, etc.
5. Pre-surgical evaluation with anesthesiologist. To evaluate potential complications during surgery - in my case, discussing my sleep apnea will be an important part of this meeting.
In the meantime, my oncologist took me off the ADT, which is great! I have also taken advantage of the opportunity of the EKG to get a cardiac stress test at the same time. The goal is to get off of blood pressure medication! Wish me luck.
"Thank you for being such a kind teacher to us. Although it is a pity you will not be at this school anymore I hope that you can continue to teach and care for others like you did for us this year. You were one of my favorite teacher this year because you were also one of the kindest. You helped those that asked for it and I could see that you were sincere to us with your feelings. I hope you can continue to be this kind of person in the future."
I am trying. I promise, I am trying.
I just realized something here. I'm in a bit of a catch-22 regarding this blog. As I've stated before, I feed off the energy that comes from 'page views' and 'comments' here on the blog. Last weekend, more people than ever read more pages, subsequently, I was posting feverishly - spending as much as 3 hours writing and editing posts. I am not sure spending 3 hours per night writing and editing is the be best use of my limited energy bucket. This weekend, page views were only one-third what they were last weekend. I can only assume that people read an entry or two, then decided not to come back. Not exactly confidence-building.
Added to these facts is the disappointing response I got on my call for help. I was hoping to get some creative ideas and leads from that request, but the response was underwhelming - and demoralizing. (Thank you to the three people who did share my blog link on Facebook.)
In the face of these facts, I'm going to retrench and seek the energy and motivation needed to continue. In honor of the other prostate cancer sufferers who may be reading these posts, I will be entering one more post tonight regarding pre-operative procedures. I will continue to post regarding my disease, but the entries may be a touch on the 'dry' side until my muse returns.
Comments like the following certainly do help, but they are far too often trumped by silence.
"[I read your blog] everyday, first thing when I get to work, usually puts a smile on my face because I can go back and actually see you talking to me like you used to. Not happy about the journey you now face, but somehow deep in my gut I know the outcome is positive. It sure seems as if you have great support, which is key. Myself, I don't know how you live in the desert all by yourself, but your blog put it a little into perspective, I guess???"
Be well.
Added to these facts is the disappointing response I got on my call for help. I was hoping to get some creative ideas and leads from that request, but the response was underwhelming - and demoralizing. (Thank you to the three people who did share my blog link on Facebook.)
In the face of these facts, I'm going to retrench and seek the energy and motivation needed to continue. In honor of the other prostate cancer sufferers who may be reading these posts, I will be entering one more post tonight regarding pre-operative procedures. I will continue to post regarding my disease, but the entries may be a touch on the 'dry' side until my muse returns.
Comments like the following certainly do help, but they are far too often trumped by silence.
"[I read your blog] everyday, first thing when I get to work, usually puts a smile on my face because I can go back and actually see you talking to me like you used to. Not happy about the journey you now face, but somehow deep in my gut I know the outcome is positive. It sure seems as if you have great support, which is key. Myself, I don't know how you live in the desert all by yourself, but your blog put it a little into perspective, I guess???"
Be well.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Hi, all. A very productive day for me today. I got at it right from the jump. I accomplished a lot of things, and I learned something.
You see, I learned that, no matter how much support and assistance you might receive, the fight is always fought alone. I knew that going in. I just thought, well...
Thank you, Jackie, for re-posting my last blog entry.
I'm going to retrench and try to figure out a new way to get from Point A to Point B. Matt is going to close the proceedings:
"Grand Master P!
You've been one of the most enjoyable teachers I've ever had. A truly genuine guy and I've been privileged to have a seat in your class. Thank for always having faith and motivating me, and don't think I forgot you helped me make my resume. Now I have a job!! YOU ARE THA MAN!!!!! Seriously a chill dude, don't lose touch."
Good night. See you again tomorrow.
You see, I learned that, no matter how much support and assistance you might receive, the fight is always fought alone. I knew that going in. I just thought, well...
Thank you, Jackie, for re-posting my last blog entry.
I'm going to retrench and try to figure out a new way to get from Point A to Point B. Matt is going to close the proceedings:
"Grand Master P!
You've been one of the most enjoyable teachers I've ever had. A truly genuine guy and I've been privileged to have a seat in your class. Thank for always having faith and motivating me, and don't think I forgot you helped me make my resume. Now I have a job!! YOU ARE THA MAN!!!!! Seriously a chill dude, don't lose touch."
Good night. See you again tomorrow.
Friday, March 7, 2014
The post this evening is very personal. The truth of the matter is, I need your help. I'm going to be very direct. While most of my posts come straight from the brain onto the screen, this one comes straight from the heart.
I NEED YOUR HELP.
I believe that cancer has delivered my opportunity to 'contribute a verse' as Walt Whitman said.
Please, help me write that verse:
I need a webmaster to help me get my website(s) up and running.
Do you know anyone in college looking to get some experience, a recent graduate, or someone who may consider pro bono work? Perhaps even a retired dot.com person who is bored and looking for a good cause? You get the picture...
I need a project manager to help me organize the various pieces of this new endeavor.
I was thinking perhaps a recently (or not so recently) retired person who is meticulous and likes to keep things 'squared away' 'to a t'? Or a young engineering/accountant/industrial engineer? You know the type...
I need help increasing traffic to the blog and the websites.
Where are my tech-savvy, plugged into the marketplace friends who can sell ice cream in December? (hmmm... Doesn't translate as well in California!) Where are my college students working on real-world application type problems that may or may not pertain to their major but you joined anyway because there was that cute chick or guy in the group? Or perhaps you have a 'regular' job, but like a good challenge outside of work? I know these types exist out there, but I don't see one when I look in the mirror!!!
I need the energy and hope - that comes from sharing my story, and the love and energy people have shared with me... I have the audacity to believe that there are people out there struggling who can gain relief in knowing they are not alone, in laughing at a well placed joke, or even crying over elicited memories.
But, I need your help.
Let's start here: Everyone please share this blog with at least one other person. If you are reading it now, I hope you find it worthwhile enough to do so.
If you can help, or know someone who can, please leave a comment below. I can keep the comment private by not 'publishing' it if need be.
Thank you for reading. And, thank you for your help.
I NEED YOUR HELP.
I believe that cancer has delivered my opportunity to 'contribute a verse' as Walt Whitman said.
Please, help me write that verse:
I need a webmaster to help me get my website(s) up and running.
Do you know anyone in college looking to get some experience, a recent graduate, or someone who may consider pro bono work? Perhaps even a retired dot.com person who is bored and looking for a good cause? You get the picture...
I need a project manager to help me organize the various pieces of this new endeavor.
I was thinking perhaps a recently (or not so recently) retired person who is meticulous and likes to keep things 'squared away' 'to a t'? Or a young engineering/accountant/industrial engineer? You know the type...
I need help increasing traffic to the blog and the websites.
Where are my tech-savvy, plugged into the marketplace friends who can sell ice cream in December? (hmmm... Doesn't translate as well in California!) Where are my college students working on real-world application type problems that may or may not pertain to their major but you joined anyway because there was that cute chick or guy in the group? Or perhaps you have a 'regular' job, but like a good challenge outside of work? I know these types exist out there, but I don't see one when I look in the mirror!!!
I need the energy and hope - that comes from sharing my story, and the love and energy people have shared with me... I have the audacity to believe that there are people out there struggling who can gain relief in knowing they are not alone, in laughing at a well placed joke, or even crying over elicited memories.
But, I need your help.
Let's start here: Everyone please share this blog with at least one other person. If you are reading it now, I hope you find it worthwhile enough to do so.
If you can help, or know someone who can, please leave a comment below. I can keep the comment private by not 'publishing' it if need be.
Thank you for reading. And, thank you for your help.
Confidential to my friend with whom I'm playing "10 Questions" - I posted a new question after the old one... You can find it on my February 28, 2014 post.
Be well! I awoke feeling refreshed and ready to go! So glad I went to bed early.
Now, I'm going to use my Magic Bullet to make myself some Cream of Asparagus soup for lunch!
Later!
Oh, heck. I know this is a quick post, how about a quick affirmation...
"Mr. P,
I wish I had met you before this year. You are a great teacher, you always took the extra time to help me understand what we were learning. I love your NY humor and your "My Cousin Vinny" references [Breakfast $1.50 / Lunch $2.50 / Dinner $3.50] You were also a great mentor and I know that all your students always felt comfortable talking to you because of your genuine compassion for the people around you. Good luck on everything in the future!"
Thank you, Harmony. It was my pleasure teaching you and your cohorts. You're the best!
Have a great day, y'all.
Oh, and Elaine, I hope you had a spectacularly wonderful birthday yesterday. I will always have a special place in my heart for you...
Also - DB - how wonderful it was to hear your voice last night... It has been toooooo long.
CARPE DIEM! It's Friiiiiiiday!!!!!!
Be well! I awoke feeling refreshed and ready to go! So glad I went to bed early.
Now, I'm going to use my Magic Bullet to make myself some Cream of Asparagus soup for lunch!
Later!
Oh, heck. I know this is a quick post, how about a quick affirmation...
"Mr. P,
I wish I had met you before this year. You are a great teacher, you always took the extra time to help me understand what we were learning. I love your NY humor and your "My Cousin Vinny" references [Breakfast $1.50 / Lunch $2.50 / Dinner $3.50] You were also a great mentor and I know that all your students always felt comfortable talking to you because of your genuine compassion for the people around you. Good luck on everything in the future!"
Thank you, Harmony. It was my pleasure teaching you and your cohorts. You're the best!
Have a great day, y'all.
Oh, and Elaine, I hope you had a spectacularly wonderful birthday yesterday. I will always have a special place in my heart for you...
Also - DB - how wonderful it was to hear your voice last night... It has been toooooo long.
CARPE DIEM! It's Friiiiiiiday!!!!!!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
I got great news today from my oncologist - I'm completely off the Casodex now, in addition to no more Lupron shots!!! I can hardly wait for my hormones to regulate (it may be a while, the Lupron shots were scheduled quarterly, so I am sure that there is still some 'active ingredient' floating around in my body).
Today was one of the bad ones - the weird head feeling was strong, and the energy was low. I plan to be in bed by 8PM, so this will be a brief visit tonight.
I suppose fatigue is as good a topic as any for tonight. Fatigue and fortitude.
Regarding fatigue, I know that I am often my own worst enemy - staying up too late writing, teaching several nights a week, not getting restful sleep, etc. So, tonight begins a new experiment. Hang on, I'll be right back... I just set up my CPAP machine. (Prescribed for my sleep apnea; I know I've talked about it here previously, but the CPAP - Continuous Positive Airway Pressure - machine is designed to force air into the nasal passages. This prevents the breathing interruptions that are the primary symptom of sleep apnea). I'm going to commit to using it for one week and see if it helps my energy.
While I'm on the topic of energy, it's time for a candid conversation. One of these days I will do some networking with other bloggers and ask them if their experience was similar to mine...
The ebb and flow of a blogger's day:
1. Think
2. Write
3. Get really into the writing process (picture Ralphie with his decoder ring in A Christmas Carol - until he discovers it's just a commercial). I'm writing, editing, thinking, carefully selecting my words, smiling, frowning, sometimes crying, working feverishly, until...
4. Put the post up
5. Feel satisfied
6. Feel anxious waiting to see if anyone will read the post - or even comment on it!
7. Go to bed (I'm usually blogging late in the evening)
8. Wake up and check computer to see how many page views I had on the new post
9. Here's where my day goes in one of two ways - If there has been significant traffic and a couple of comments, I am beside myself with delight! If, on the other hand... Few readers, no comments, no energy = bummed author. I've said it before, I'll say it again, we are having a conversation here. Conversations are not one way affairs - comments, responses, feedback, suggestions, etc. Are necessary to move the conversation forward.
10. Obsess over readership stats
11. Go to work
12. Get home
13. Eat
14. Blog
15. Promote blog on Facebook
16. Begin obsessing all over again.
There you have it, folks... My life in a nutshell. Of course, add in working, commuting, teaching, living...
The bottom line is that a vibrant, active blog is a joy - a serious mood elevator! A dormant, no-buzz blog is the opposite. I am trying to focus on me, my health, my journey, my immediate surroundings, but - for better or worse - what I am right now is a blogger. I would like to be a good one. One who cares about what he writes - and who cares very deeply about maintaining that healthy dialogue.
So, I hope you will take a page from my dear friend, Debbie's book... She shared the blog link with her facebook friends - along with a personal note encouraging them to read it - and predicting that they'd enjoy it. Thank you, Debbie!!
So, I'm going to ask each of my readers who has a facebook account to do the exact same thing. If you are reading, and you like what you see, please share. I look forward to tapping into that flow of positive energy! THANK YOU!!!
It's time to go - I may not even make it until 8PM...
Good night, everyone. Mari, take us home, please...
"Mr. P
Thank you for being not only an amazing stats teacher, but also one of the most genuinely kind and positive people I know. You make me laugh whenever you shout "Excrement!" or make funny puns. Here's one - what's a Grecian Urn? ... 5 dollars! Romans make about 10! I thought you'd like that one, so cheesy. I loved watching your video (from motorcycle riding) and I just want you to pleeeease stay safe? You have truly made this year bearable with your humor and support. I can always count on you! Love, Mari"
Mari, you can still count on my support! Be well!
Carpe Diem, all...
Today was one of the bad ones - the weird head feeling was strong, and the energy was low. I plan to be in bed by 8PM, so this will be a brief visit tonight.
I suppose fatigue is as good a topic as any for tonight. Fatigue and fortitude.
Regarding fatigue, I know that I am often my own worst enemy - staying up too late writing, teaching several nights a week, not getting restful sleep, etc. So, tonight begins a new experiment. Hang on, I'll be right back... I just set up my CPAP machine. (Prescribed for my sleep apnea; I know I've talked about it here previously, but the CPAP - Continuous Positive Airway Pressure - machine is designed to force air into the nasal passages. This prevents the breathing interruptions that are the primary symptom of sleep apnea). I'm going to commit to using it for one week and see if it helps my energy.
While I'm on the topic of energy, it's time for a candid conversation. One of these days I will do some networking with other bloggers and ask them if their experience was similar to mine...
The ebb and flow of a blogger's day:
1. Think
2. Write
3. Get really into the writing process (picture Ralphie with his decoder ring in A Christmas Carol - until he discovers it's just a commercial). I'm writing, editing, thinking, carefully selecting my words, smiling, frowning, sometimes crying, working feverishly, until...
4. Put the post up
5. Feel satisfied
6. Feel anxious waiting to see if anyone will read the post - or even comment on it!
7. Go to bed (I'm usually blogging late in the evening)
8. Wake up and check computer to see how many page views I had on the new post
9. Here's where my day goes in one of two ways - If there has been significant traffic and a couple of comments, I am beside myself with delight! If, on the other hand... Few readers, no comments, no energy = bummed author. I've said it before, I'll say it again, we are having a conversation here. Conversations are not one way affairs - comments, responses, feedback, suggestions, etc. Are necessary to move the conversation forward.
10. Obsess over readership stats
11. Go to work
12. Get home
13. Eat
14. Blog
15. Promote blog on Facebook
16. Begin obsessing all over again.
There you have it, folks... My life in a nutshell. Of course, add in working, commuting, teaching, living...
The bottom line is that a vibrant, active blog is a joy - a serious mood elevator! A dormant, no-buzz blog is the opposite. I am trying to focus on me, my health, my journey, my immediate surroundings, but - for better or worse - what I am right now is a blogger. I would like to be a good one. One who cares about what he writes - and who cares very deeply about maintaining that healthy dialogue.
So, I hope you will take a page from my dear friend, Debbie's book... She shared the blog link with her facebook friends - along with a personal note encouraging them to read it - and predicting that they'd enjoy it. Thank you, Debbie!!
So, I'm going to ask each of my readers who has a facebook account to do the exact same thing. If you are reading, and you like what you see, please share. I look forward to tapping into that flow of positive energy! THANK YOU!!!
It's time to go - I may not even make it until 8PM...
Good night, everyone. Mari, take us home, please...
"Mr. P
Thank you for being not only an amazing stats teacher, but also one of the most genuinely kind and positive people I know. You make me laugh whenever you shout "Excrement!" or make funny puns. Here's one - what's a Grecian Urn? ... 5 dollars! Romans make about 10! I thought you'd like that one, so cheesy. I loved watching your video (from motorcycle riding) and I just want you to pleeeease stay safe? You have truly made this year bearable with your humor and support. I can always count on you! Love, Mari"
Mari, you can still count on my support! Be well!
Carpe Diem, all...
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Regarding hormone therapy and side effects (remember, Androgen Deprivation Treatment - or ADT - halts the production of the male hormone, Androgen, thereby reducing testosterone, thereby removing 'fuel' from the cancer):
I have been regularly experiencing two rather significant side effects from my hormone therapy. Thankfully, man boobs is not yet one of them! No, the two seem to operate in tandem, and they are: Headaches, and 'disorientation.' I use the quotes here because I don't know quite what to call the feeling. I can describe the feeling, but the appropriate word remains just out of the grasp of my conscious being... All I can say is it feels like my head is under water.
I don't know how many people are reading this blog who have also been on this type of therapy, but I'd love to know your experience. Please leave a comment below - especially if you found relief in some way; heck, even if it was just minimizing that feeling of weirdness, I'd be happy :)
As for the headaches, well, I keep trying different things. Staying hydrated, eating regularly, monitoring my blood pressure... Today, I tried a cup of coffee mid-day to see if caffeine might help. It didn't.
Well, I suppose I'll just muddle through on trial and error... My surgeon wants me to discontinue Androgen Deprivation Treatment, and I agree with him 100%. Think about it - I don't want 'Deprivation' treatment - what fun is it to deprive yourself?
SPECIAL NOTE TO READERS AND PATIENTS (OF ANY KIND):
Wait, we're going to do this as a sideline reporter at a college basketball game, talking to the coach at halftime:
Reporter: "Hey, coach, how do you feel after that first half?"
Coach: "Well, my bladder is acting up, and my blood pressure meds are killing me - I gotta pee!"
Reporter: "No, coach - I meant how did you feel about the way your team played?"
Coach: "My back teeth are floating over here, but I can say we went in with a good mindset, and we felt prepared."
R: "What did you do to prepare, coach?"
C: "Well, I read my book on prostate health, and I read about the treatment options, and I wrote down a bunch of questions for my doctor..."
R: "You were ready for these guys, weren't you?"
C: "Oh, yeah. We felt really comfortable in our game plan."
R: "If that's the case, what happened there right at the end of the half? Why did you have to call back the doctor's office?"
C: "Well, I'll take full responsibility for that blunder... You see, I was ready to discuss treatments, side effects, long-term prognoses, etc. I mean, I had notes!"
R: "And then?"
C: "And then, that sneaky son-of-a-gun pulled an audible."
R: "Who? The other coach?"
C: "NO! This whole basketball thing is just a metaphor for my visit to the surgeon... When he said he wanted my off of EDT, I assumed he meant the shots - and before you ask, yes, I know what assume makes!"
R: "So, basically you froze up like a deer in the headlights and didn't follow-through, just like on your putting stroke."
C: "Cripes, stop mixing metaphors on me - we're not talking about golf! We are talking about basketball - I mean cancer, dang it!!! Stop trying to confuse me with your tricks, your high-fallutin' education, and your perfume, and that hair spray..."
R: "Okay, coach. Fair enough. How would you describe your performance at the end?"
C: "Just like a deer in the headlights..."
R: "Back to you in the booth...."
Okay, so prepared is good, but don't be afraid to relax and LISTEN to your doctor when next you visit. If I had asked that simple follow-up, "Cool. No more 'lupron' shots. What about the Casodex?" Unfortunately, I will not know the answer to that question until Thursday, when my doctor returns to his lair - I mean, office! In the meantime, I'm shopping online for a bro - or is it a manziere? I hear Victor's Secrets has a sale this month on minimizers... Now, where did I put that credit card?
Please, save us, Kat!
"Mr. P! You are my favorite teacher, by far! Everything you have done this year means so much. You have one of the most caring hearts and you honestly deserve the best. One chapter of your life is ending, but a new one is just beginning, just like the rest of us. Keep in touch! <3 Kat!!!"
Wow, three exclamation marks - the Russian judge only gave me two :(
It's after midnight, and I'm thinking sleep is good for preventing headaches, too.
Good night.
I have been regularly experiencing two rather significant side effects from my hormone therapy. Thankfully, man boobs is not yet one of them! No, the two seem to operate in tandem, and they are: Headaches, and 'disorientation.' I use the quotes here because I don't know quite what to call the feeling. I can describe the feeling, but the appropriate word remains just out of the grasp of my conscious being... All I can say is it feels like my head is under water.
I don't know how many people are reading this blog who have also been on this type of therapy, but I'd love to know your experience. Please leave a comment below - especially if you found relief in some way; heck, even if it was just minimizing that feeling of weirdness, I'd be happy :)
As for the headaches, well, I keep trying different things. Staying hydrated, eating regularly, monitoring my blood pressure... Today, I tried a cup of coffee mid-day to see if caffeine might help. It didn't.
Well, I suppose I'll just muddle through on trial and error... My surgeon wants me to discontinue Androgen Deprivation Treatment, and I agree with him 100%. Think about it - I don't want 'Deprivation' treatment - what fun is it to deprive yourself?
SPECIAL NOTE TO READERS AND PATIENTS (OF ANY KIND):
Wait, we're going to do this as a sideline reporter at a college basketball game, talking to the coach at halftime:
Reporter: "Hey, coach, how do you feel after that first half?"
Coach: "Well, my bladder is acting up, and my blood pressure meds are killing me - I gotta pee!"
Reporter: "No, coach - I meant how did you feel about the way your team played?"
Coach: "My back teeth are floating over here, but I can say we went in with a good mindset, and we felt prepared."
R: "What did you do to prepare, coach?"
C: "Well, I read my book on prostate health, and I read about the treatment options, and I wrote down a bunch of questions for my doctor..."
R: "You were ready for these guys, weren't you?"
C: "Oh, yeah. We felt really comfortable in our game plan."
R: "If that's the case, what happened there right at the end of the half? Why did you have to call back the doctor's office?"
C: "Well, I'll take full responsibility for that blunder... You see, I was ready to discuss treatments, side effects, long-term prognoses, etc. I mean, I had notes!"
R: "And then?"
C: "And then, that sneaky son-of-a-gun pulled an audible."
R: "Who? The other coach?"
C: "NO! This whole basketball thing is just a metaphor for my visit to the surgeon... When he said he wanted my off of EDT, I assumed he meant the shots - and before you ask, yes, I know what assume makes!"
R: "So, basically you froze up like a deer in the headlights and didn't follow-through, just like on your putting stroke."
C: "Cripes, stop mixing metaphors on me - we're not talking about golf! We are talking about basketball - I mean cancer, dang it!!! Stop trying to confuse me with your tricks, your high-fallutin' education, and your perfume, and that hair spray..."
R: "Okay, coach. Fair enough. How would you describe your performance at the end?"
C: "Just like a deer in the headlights..."
R: "Back to you in the booth...."
Okay, so prepared is good, but don't be afraid to relax and LISTEN to your doctor when next you visit. If I had asked that simple follow-up, "Cool. No more 'lupron' shots. What about the Casodex?" Unfortunately, I will not know the answer to that question until Thursday, when my doctor returns to his lair - I mean, office! In the meantime, I'm shopping online for a bro - or is it a manziere? I hear Victor's Secrets has a sale this month on minimizers... Now, where did I put that credit card?
Please, save us, Kat!
"Mr. P! You are my favorite teacher, by far! Everything you have done this year means so much. You have one of the most caring hearts and you honestly deserve the best. One chapter of your life is ending, but a new one is just beginning, just like the rest of us. Keep in touch! <3 Kat!!!"
Wow, three exclamation marks - the Russian judge only gave me two :(
It's after midnight, and I'm thinking sleep is good for preventing headaches, too.
Good night.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Two words. That's all the big boss had to say to me last week to turn my life around. Two words...
"Next year..."
How I longed to hear those words! To think, for months, I was the King of Self-flagellation; my inner voice railed at me for any perceived misstep. In retrospect, I will have to admit that my non-tenure experience had left me scarred. I poured my heart and soul into helping those students the best way I knew. But, at the end of the day, I was told (tacitly), we don't want you. Go away. Our students are better off without you...
... So, yeah, 'next year' beats the heck out of 'get lost.'
But, forget all that: Just focus on the two words for one second... all it took to turn hope into reality... two words.
Two little words, but with such a profound impact!
How many words per day do you speak?
How many of those words changed someone's life?
How many lives may you have changed; without even knowing it?
I haven't spoken much in this forum about my current state of spirituality. The beginning of this blog was populated with entries based on my reading of The Celestine Prophecy. One of it's tenets that I truly believe is this: Put positive energy out into the universe - and allow the universe to return it to you. With interest. And, honesty, in my case, it feels like compound interest. I am humbled by the energy bestowed upon me - each and every day.
So, for the sake of science, sociology, lively dinner-party conversation, and just plain fun, I've devised the following assessment to help you determine the type of energy you are putting out into the universe...
Please note that I am a trained statistician, with professional training and a Masters Degree and all that sort of business - PLEASE do not try this at home! Creating imaginative scientific surveys and getting people into fun, philosophical discussions is best left to the professionals! You've been warned! You have no idea what you may learn about your neighbor, friend, co-worker, bowling teammate, UPS deliveryman, or - gasp! - your own child(!!) if you actually sit down and communicate with them. The horrors!
So, as a public service (as much as anything else, I suppose), I present to you a quick quiz so that you may self-assess your 'karma quotient.' [heretofore known as KQ - patent pending, insert fast-talking legal disclaimer-reader-person listing possible side effects]
Scenario Number One!
You're in the checkout line at the grocery store. There are two frazzled checkers taking care of a dozen customers... You're currently third in line behind the last person on the planet who actually writes a check for milk, and the couple heading out rock climbing for the weekend. It appears that the couple is quite fond of granola; their entire basket consists of 23 different varieties culled from the bulk bins on aisle five...
Do you:
A. Sigh loudly and say, why isn't the express lane open? (Disclaimer: I actually said this about two weeks ago while purchasing yogurt and granola for breakfast... In fact, I'm certain I've used this one a number of times, along with "Are you ever going to get self-checkouts?")
B. Notice the exasperated single mother behind you clinging to twins with one hand, a two-year old in the other, and a ginormous variety pack with the other (yes, I know that makes three hands - we are talking about mothers here, people, you dig? I mean, they can to sprout appendages as needed - they're like the Swiss Army knife of the household! You know? Alright, back to business...). You not only let her go in front of you, you politely usher her past the climbers - employing the subtle, yet-effective eyebrow raise indicating nappys trump snackies any day of the week...
C. You complain loudly that the couple in front of you used all red zip-ties on their baggies, when clearly some of these bags came from the more expensive blue tag bins. The instant the couple returns to aisle to correct their mistake, you swoop past the sexagenarian when he reaches for his checkbook. Or was he simply adjusting his prosthetic hip?
Scenario Number Two!
You find yourself at a traffic light in West LA. Ahead of you is a carload of tourists - you know this because they pause in front of every tree on the street, heads out the windows snapping 'palmies.' Meanwhile, the driver is snapping selfies, and uploading instagrams, all the while texting his buddies back in North Dakota, "We made it to LA; you betcha!"
In the lane to the right are a couple of local students. At least you surmise they are students by their roof-top surfboards, the Lambda Lambda Lambda bumper sticker, and their total lack of awareness to their surroundings. Their motto appears to be, "Drive it like you stole it!" Or perhaps it was just, "Puff, puff, give!" For the past two miles, they set a world record for 'turtle hunting', hitting every one of Mr. Botts' inventions which supposedly separate your lane from theirs...
Do you:
A. Rediscover your inner New Yorker, administering firm, consistent pressure on your car horn exactly 17.2 nanoseconds after the light turns green.
B. Realize you're enjoying the wonderful California sunshine, and back off a few metres (shoutout, Canada!) [tweet! That's it! That's two minutes in the penalty box for pandering to our brothers up North!! Meaning: I don't have any readers from the provinces yet... So, help me oot, eh, you hosers?]
C. Drive on the sidewalk, ego-manically yelling, "These stuntmen are the worst I've ever seen! I'll see to it that they'll never work again!"
Scenario Number Three!
You find yourself at the emergency room, having stubbed your toe getting out of the shower when you recognized that American Idol was about to start... Ahead of you in the queue (shoutout, chaps!) are an assortment of characters, including one gentleman who appears to be cradling his right kneecap - under his left armpit, two teenage 'scientists' who seemed to have discovered that firecrackers were not meant to be held quite that way, at least one hypochondriac clutching the latest issue of Lancet, and three men wearing golf shoes - and the look that says both, "I really crushed that one, didn't I?" and ""If my back spasm let's go, I'm gonna destroy that back nine...
Do you:
A. Disingenuously mention to the nurse that you have chest pains (knowing full well that two bags of Hot Chili Cheetos chased with a 24 ounce Monster might have more to do with it than angina).
B. Patiently sit in the hallway allowing your companion to watch "Jerry Springer" while you busy yourself with a People magazine from circa 2010. "Oh, that little Hannah Montana is just so cute and wholesome" you tell your companion. Of course, they shush you, and you hear, "The DNA test revealed..."
C. Announce loudly that the morphine truck just overturned in the parking lot - then wade through the teeming masses like a spawning salmon, settling comfortably into Examining Room number 2. (Escape returning blood-thirsty horde by donning scrubs, shades, and surgical mask.)
SCORING: All A answers 10 points. B answers are worth 25 points. And C answers are worth Negative 75 points.
Interpreting your results:
Karma Quotient (KQ): 50 -75 points: You are putting out so much positive energy, three nuclear power plants have been decommissioned.
KQ of 0 - 49 points: Meh. We all have our days.
Negative KQ points: I'm sorry, Senator, next time we will grade on the curve...
There you have it, folks. I statistically valid self-assessment from a valid statistician...
I hope you enjoyed this test. Next time you're faced with a scenario requiring grace, tact, patience, consideration, re-consideration, level-headedness, etc. I hope you'll think of this quiz - and try at least not to go negative, like Mister C above. Hey, that's a start...
Good night, all.
Tonight, Christine gets the final word:
" Mr. P
I love your personality and the way you connected with us so well. You are without a doubt my favorite teacher period!!! Your such a personable person and I've definitely made many memories in this classroom and having you as a teacher. This school really missed out on having you a teacher for a long time. You have truly influenced me in so many ways to become a better person. Thank you Mr. P for teaching me so many lessons in life and always being here for us students. I can' thank you enough. I hope you have a terrific summer and a great future Mr. P. Thank you for everything."
No, thank you, Christine. Stay strong - and stay true to yourself.
Carpe Diem.
"Next year..."
How I longed to hear those words! To think, for months, I was the King of Self-flagellation; my inner voice railed at me for any perceived misstep. In retrospect, I will have to admit that my non-tenure experience had left me scarred. I poured my heart and soul into helping those students the best way I knew. But, at the end of the day, I was told (tacitly), we don't want you. Go away. Our students are better off without you...
... So, yeah, 'next year' beats the heck out of 'get lost.'
But, forget all that: Just focus on the two words for one second... all it took to turn hope into reality... two words.
Two little words, but with such a profound impact!
How many words per day do you speak?
How many of those words changed someone's life?
How many lives may you have changed; without even knowing it?
I haven't spoken much in this forum about my current state of spirituality. The beginning of this blog was populated with entries based on my reading of The Celestine Prophecy. One of it's tenets that I truly believe is this: Put positive energy out into the universe - and allow the universe to return it to you. With interest. And, honesty, in my case, it feels like compound interest. I am humbled by the energy bestowed upon me - each and every day.
So, for the sake of science, sociology, lively dinner-party conversation, and just plain fun, I've devised the following assessment to help you determine the type of energy you are putting out into the universe...
Please note that I am a trained statistician, with professional training and a Masters Degree and all that sort of business - PLEASE do not try this at home! Creating imaginative scientific surveys and getting people into fun, philosophical discussions is best left to the professionals! You've been warned! You have no idea what you may learn about your neighbor, friend, co-worker, bowling teammate, UPS deliveryman, or - gasp! - your own child(!!) if you actually sit down and communicate with them. The horrors!
So, as a public service (as much as anything else, I suppose), I present to you a quick quiz so that you may self-assess your 'karma quotient.' [heretofore known as KQ - patent pending, insert fast-talking legal disclaimer-reader-person listing possible side effects]
Scenario Number One!
You're in the checkout line at the grocery store. There are two frazzled checkers taking care of a dozen customers... You're currently third in line behind the last person on the planet who actually writes a check for milk, and the couple heading out rock climbing for the weekend. It appears that the couple is quite fond of granola; their entire basket consists of 23 different varieties culled from the bulk bins on aisle five...
Do you:
A. Sigh loudly and say, why isn't the express lane open? (Disclaimer: I actually said this about two weeks ago while purchasing yogurt and granola for breakfast... In fact, I'm certain I've used this one a number of times, along with "Are you ever going to get self-checkouts?")
B. Notice the exasperated single mother behind you clinging to twins with one hand, a two-year old in the other, and a ginormous variety pack with the other (yes, I know that makes three hands - we are talking about mothers here, people, you dig? I mean, they can to sprout appendages as needed - they're like the Swiss Army knife of the household! You know? Alright, back to business...). You not only let her go in front of you, you politely usher her past the climbers - employing the subtle, yet-effective eyebrow raise indicating nappys trump snackies any day of the week...
C. You complain loudly that the couple in front of you used all red zip-ties on their baggies, when clearly some of these bags came from the more expensive blue tag bins. The instant the couple returns to aisle to correct their mistake, you swoop past the sexagenarian when he reaches for his checkbook. Or was he simply adjusting his prosthetic hip?
Scenario Number Two!
You find yourself at a traffic light in West LA. Ahead of you is a carload of tourists - you know this because they pause in front of every tree on the street, heads out the windows snapping 'palmies.' Meanwhile, the driver is snapping selfies, and uploading instagrams, all the while texting his buddies back in North Dakota, "We made it to LA; you betcha!"
In the lane to the right are a couple of local students. At least you surmise they are students by their roof-top surfboards, the Lambda Lambda Lambda bumper sticker, and their total lack of awareness to their surroundings. Their motto appears to be, "Drive it like you stole it!" Or perhaps it was just, "Puff, puff, give!" For the past two miles, they set a world record for 'turtle hunting', hitting every one of Mr. Botts' inventions which supposedly separate your lane from theirs...
Do you:
A. Rediscover your inner New Yorker, administering firm, consistent pressure on your car horn exactly 17.2 nanoseconds after the light turns green.
B. Realize you're enjoying the wonderful California sunshine, and back off a few metres (shoutout, Canada!) [tweet! That's it! That's two minutes in the penalty box for pandering to our brothers up North!! Meaning: I don't have any readers from the provinces yet... So, help me oot, eh, you hosers?]
C. Drive on the sidewalk, ego-manically yelling, "These stuntmen are the worst I've ever seen! I'll see to it that they'll never work again!"
Scenario Number Three!
You find yourself at the emergency room, having stubbed your toe getting out of the shower when you recognized that American Idol was about to start... Ahead of you in the queue (shoutout, chaps!) are an assortment of characters, including one gentleman who appears to be cradling his right kneecap - under his left armpit, two teenage 'scientists' who seemed to have discovered that firecrackers were not meant to be held quite that way, at least one hypochondriac clutching the latest issue of Lancet, and three men wearing golf shoes - and the look that says both, "I really crushed that one, didn't I?" and ""If my back spasm let's go, I'm gonna destroy that back nine...
Do you:
A. Disingenuously mention to the nurse that you have chest pains (knowing full well that two bags of Hot Chili Cheetos chased with a 24 ounce Monster might have more to do with it than angina).
B. Patiently sit in the hallway allowing your companion to watch "Jerry Springer" while you busy yourself with a People magazine from circa 2010. "Oh, that little Hannah Montana is just so cute and wholesome" you tell your companion. Of course, they shush you, and you hear, "The DNA test revealed..."
C. Announce loudly that the morphine truck just overturned in the parking lot - then wade through the teeming masses like a spawning salmon, settling comfortably into Examining Room number 2. (Escape returning blood-thirsty horde by donning scrubs, shades, and surgical mask.)
SCORING: All A answers 10 points. B answers are worth 25 points. And C answers are worth Negative 75 points.
Interpreting your results:
Karma Quotient (KQ): 50 -75 points: You are putting out so much positive energy, three nuclear power plants have been decommissioned.
KQ of 0 - 49 points: Meh. We all have our days.
Negative KQ points: I'm sorry, Senator, next time we will grade on the curve...
There you have it, folks. I statistically valid self-assessment from a valid statistician...
I hope you enjoyed this test. Next time you're faced with a scenario requiring grace, tact, patience, consideration, re-consideration, level-headedness, etc. I hope you'll think of this quiz - and try at least not to go negative, like Mister C above. Hey, that's a start...
Good night, all.
Tonight, Christine gets the final word:
" Mr. P
I love your personality and the way you connected with us so well. You are without a doubt my favorite teacher period!!! Your such a personable person and I've definitely made many memories in this classroom and having you as a teacher. This school really missed out on having you a teacher for a long time. You have truly influenced me in so many ways to become a better person. Thank you Mr. P for teaching me so many lessons in life and always being here for us students. I can' thank you enough. I hope you have a terrific summer and a great future Mr. P. Thank you for everything."
No, thank you, Christine. Stay strong - and stay true to yourself.
Carpe Diem.
Hi, everyone. It's a special Late-Night post-statistics class blog entry... I've had quite a few things on my mind of late - and I really just wanted to write. I have said this before, but it may bear repeating: I enjoy sharing these thoughts, ideas, and observations with you. I truly do. I knew I probably wouldn't get one in today because of my school schedule (8 to 4 in Yucca Valley, then 6 to 10 in San Bernardino). I'm home now, in my pajamas and ready for bed. But I'm going to address one question I get frequently:
Question: "Aren't you lonely living out in the middle of nowhere?"
Anwer: "NO!" "Not really..." "Sometimes."
These are all answers I've given, as well as just dismissing the question as silly. But, in the final analysis, I am an extrovert and I love the company of people. I didn't know that my life would put me here, but I CHOSE TO BE HERE. So, let's not whine about circumstances or necessity or 'the man' or any other excuses. I am living here because I choose to live here. And 90% of the time I love it! I don't mean 'like it;' I LOVE IT!
As to loneliness... Well, I suppose when I am having a down day or a period of depression, I am very lonely. But I think that the answer would have been exactly the same in Santa Monica, when I lived there for two years, even though I was working three jobs (sometimes four). What the hell was I thinking, by the way!??!
No, I don't think that alone = loneliness. I know people who are lonely even though they live with someone. In fact, I exchanged a few text messages tonight from someone who (I think) belongs in this category. I even think that the loneliness and desperation of the person who feels 'trapped' is far worse than a solitary person would feel.
Remember, as my friend Thoreau said, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately..." I went to the desert to live my own life. Not the life that people expect me to lead, or the life that I will have to work a hundred years to afford, or the life that's considered 'normal' (normal is highly overrated, anyway...), or someone else's life - MY LIFE. It's been a little over a year here at My Little House in the Desert and I have grown by any measure (except my waistline) during my tenure 'in the woods.'
I'm happy about that.
Now, as for this question of loneliness. At times, I love to embrace the loneliness. The quiet is incredible. I am certain I've written of this before. I like to just sit and listen... to nothing. It beats car horns and stereos and angry voices and motorcycles (even motorcycles) and the din of the city. I've always been a country mouse, and living here has reinforced and reminded me of that truth. Yesterday morning when I was washing the dishes, I noticed 'it.' I said to myself, "Self, why is it so quiet? Why don't you turn on the stereo while you work?" And - as I often do - I answered myself, "No... Let's just enjoy the quiet." And we did. Well, me and whoever the voice in my head was asking those silly questions.
On the other hand... (Aren't there always more than one side to any topic?) I think if I wasn't so 'plugged in' I might be lonely. Heck, I can get on the internet on my phone, my computer, and my tablet if I want to. I can watch TV on my computer, phone, or - believe it or not - on my TV! If I get lonely, I can surf the web, or text, or email, or call someone. Yes, to be honest, I shouldn't be allowed to say that I am living deliberately and sucking all the marrow from life while I'm so plugged in. I'm not certain of the clinical definition of addicted, but I fear I'm becoming addicted to Facebook. I have the app on my stupid phone, and I'm checking it about a zillion times a day. Why? I don't know. Habit? Partially. (If that's true, I just need to replace it with a better habit...) Loneliness? No, I don't think so; I'm checking it on my phone while sitting at my desk talking to others.... Afraid to miss out on something? Perhaps - that problem is hard-wired in my DNA. Party? I want to be there. Card game? Deal me in? Discussion? Here are my two cents. Road trip? Let's go! So, there could be something to this 'addiction,' I suppose. I just don't know.
And now, I'm "Fading into Bolivia" as a famous person once said. [BONUS POINTS to the first person who correctly identifies this celebrity.] I'm off to bed.
Hopefully, these words from Kalina will resound in my slumber:
"Mr. P! Hands down, one the best people I know! You have such a good spirit, kind heart, and amazing sense of humor! You are so genuinely kind and supportive to all your students. I have never met another teacher like you, Mr. P! From the beginning of the year when you told me I had a nice smile, you always know how to brighten my day! Mr. P, wherever next year takes you, you will be successful because you are loved by everyone you meet. Thanks for everything!"
Thank YOU, Kalina. It is because of hard-working, intelligent, caring young people like you that I can worry less about the future of this planet. Be well!
Carpe Diem, one and all.
Question: "Aren't you lonely living out in the middle of nowhere?"
Anwer: "NO!" "Not really..." "Sometimes."
These are all answers I've given, as well as just dismissing the question as silly. But, in the final analysis, I am an extrovert and I love the company of people. I didn't know that my life would put me here, but I CHOSE TO BE HERE. So, let's not whine about circumstances or necessity or 'the man' or any other excuses. I am living here because I choose to live here. And 90% of the time I love it! I don't mean 'like it;' I LOVE IT!
As to loneliness... Well, I suppose when I am having a down day or a period of depression, I am very lonely. But I think that the answer would have been exactly the same in Santa Monica, when I lived there for two years, even though I was working three jobs (sometimes four). What the hell was I thinking, by the way!??!
No, I don't think that alone = loneliness. I know people who are lonely even though they live with someone. In fact, I exchanged a few text messages tonight from someone who (I think) belongs in this category. I even think that the loneliness and desperation of the person who feels 'trapped' is far worse than a solitary person would feel.
Remember, as my friend Thoreau said, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately..." I went to the desert to live my own life. Not the life that people expect me to lead, or the life that I will have to work a hundred years to afford, or the life that's considered 'normal' (normal is highly overrated, anyway...), or someone else's life - MY LIFE. It's been a little over a year here at My Little House in the Desert and I have grown by any measure (except my waistline) during my tenure 'in the woods.'
I'm happy about that.
Now, as for this question of loneliness. At times, I love to embrace the loneliness. The quiet is incredible. I am certain I've written of this before. I like to just sit and listen... to nothing. It beats car horns and stereos and angry voices and motorcycles (even motorcycles) and the din of the city. I've always been a country mouse, and living here has reinforced and reminded me of that truth. Yesterday morning when I was washing the dishes, I noticed 'it.' I said to myself, "Self, why is it so quiet? Why don't you turn on the stereo while you work?" And - as I often do - I answered myself, "No... Let's just enjoy the quiet." And we did. Well, me and whoever the voice in my head was asking those silly questions.
On the other hand... (Aren't there always more than one side to any topic?) I think if I wasn't so 'plugged in' I might be lonely. Heck, I can get on the internet on my phone, my computer, and my tablet if I want to. I can watch TV on my computer, phone, or - believe it or not - on my TV! If I get lonely, I can surf the web, or text, or email, or call someone. Yes, to be honest, I shouldn't be allowed to say that I am living deliberately and sucking all the marrow from life while I'm so plugged in. I'm not certain of the clinical definition of addicted, but I fear I'm becoming addicted to Facebook. I have the app on my stupid phone, and I'm checking it about a zillion times a day. Why? I don't know. Habit? Partially. (If that's true, I just need to replace it with a better habit...) Loneliness? No, I don't think so; I'm checking it on my phone while sitting at my desk talking to others.... Afraid to miss out on something? Perhaps - that problem is hard-wired in my DNA. Party? I want to be there. Card game? Deal me in? Discussion? Here are my two cents. Road trip? Let's go! So, there could be something to this 'addiction,' I suppose. I just don't know.
And now, I'm "Fading into Bolivia" as a famous person once said. [BONUS POINTS to the first person who correctly identifies this celebrity.] I'm off to bed.
Hopefully, these words from Kalina will resound in my slumber:
"Mr. P! Hands down, one the best people I know! You have such a good spirit, kind heart, and amazing sense of humor! You are so genuinely kind and supportive to all your students. I have never met another teacher like you, Mr. P! From the beginning of the year when you told me I had a nice smile, you always know how to brighten my day! Mr. P, wherever next year takes you, you will be successful because you are loved by everyone you meet. Thanks for everything!"
Thank YOU, Kalina. It is because of hard-working, intelligent, caring young people like you that I can worry less about the future of this planet. Be well!
Carpe Diem, one and all.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)