Today is a better day. I slept under the stars again last night and awoke to an incredible sunrise. I couldn't help feeling insignificant looking up at the vast cosmos, but the thought did not dissuade me from the plan that I would have a productive Saturday. So far I have washed the dishes, taken out the trash, hung up and put away the laundry, cleaned up some clutter, and applied for two jobs on line. I may even make my bed! (Whoa, big fella, let's not get crazy...)
I know that each day I choose to do what I want with it. I knew that I was wasting my days two weeks ago when I spent one morning watching Let's Make a Deal, The Price is Right, and... Jerry Springer, followed by Maury Povich!!!! Enough! They say you need to reach rock bottom before you can start working your way back, and I'd say a slovenly day watching chicks pull each other's hair on national TV is about as close to rock bottom as you can get.
I also feel buoyed today by the outreach of support from people I love and respect. I heard from so many people, friends, relatives, students - people who showed me that I do matter, that I am not just an insignificant speck in the universe. Now, I am going to reward myself by watching some golf on TV. I can see you out there shaking your heads - don't do it! Don't go down the rabbit hole of watching television ad nauseum... Well, I planned my day this way... Productive this morning, golf now, and later I am going to grill boneless skinless chicken breasts and steam some asparagus and eat healthy. I am trying to take control of my life and make better decisions.
I promise I will try to write every day and let you know how I am doing. I know honesty is the best policy and I know that I can't hide from my issues. I hope that I continue to hear from you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your ongoing love and support. A special thanks to Phil, Billy, Cheryl the Squirrel, Melody, Oren, Georgia, Stephanie, Frankie, Annie, Michael, Linda, Connie, Joe, and Zach. I love you all and I my life is so much better for your strength and courage.
I hope you all have the best day ever - mine is not so bad.
Peace out.
Hi Ken, Sorry to hear about the interviews. But knowing you, you'll be back in the game very soon. It seems that the desert is doing you some good. Please don't lose touch with reality, though. Truthfully, when I've felt like pulling the covers over my head and stay in bed, reality pulls me back out. I say I do what I do for my children and grandchildren. However I remind myself every day that if I don't take care of me, I'm nothing to them. So, as you are discovering it is vital to be healthy, well rested and productive. I like your idea of scheduling "down time" in front of the TV. Brains need to rest and revitalize. Good food, healthy activity, down time and self reflection are all part of that revitalization. We're in it together, my friend. Until next time, Love ... Connie
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