I wanted to talk about cancer for a bit...

I am a little nervous about the bone scan tomorrow.  My doctor tells me there is only about a 2% chance that there will be a problem.  I will hang my hat on that...  But that doesn't make the test any less scary.  As I'd mentioned previously, I was fairly certain what my last test would show.  I just 'knew' I had cancer. Now, I want that cancer to be treatable...  That is all.

I had a rather productive and candid conversation with one of my friends today who has faced down prostate cancer.  He confirmed a few things for me.  First and foremost, I need to take control of my own treatment and care.  It is my responsibility to do my research, including looking into programs available in my area, surgeons, new treatments, etc.

He explained to me that getting back my bladder control is largely about doing the Kegel exercises.  He recommended different pads and other hygiene products.

The 'other' conversation is always the delicate one.  He was told after his surgery that his outcome was the best possible; the two nerve bundles running around the prostate had been kept intact.  This meant that his prognosis for recovering erectile function was optimal.  Even with this optimal result, he is still trying to recover full sexual capability nearly two years later.

Some learnings along these lines that he shared with me:

1. It is a use it or lose it situation and erections have to be 'cultivated' and extended as long as possible.
2. There is no ejaculate, but there is certainly orgasm.
3. Take Viagra at night to promote erections during REM sleep.
4. There are several other methods to regain the ability to have an adequate sex life.

These are the kinds of conversations that need to take place with a doctor - certainly the surgeon or oncologist - when the time is right.

For now, I'm still gathering data on my options.  These conversations help; but they are anecdotal, and based on very small sample sizes.  (Damn, do I sound like a statistician right now!??!)

I am just taking things one step at a time. The next step is the test tomorrow and the results the following Tuesday, February 4.

I really don't know what else to say at this juncture.

Good night from me.

Closing thoughts from one of my students:

"... thank you for being there for me.  It was like you could see right through me when I was really depressed.  You helped me through so much...  you helped me out of my comfort zone and you helped me talk about things I usually don't tell people.  I love you, Mr. P. Stay strong..."